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The Book Club :
Best Book for WH to read on helping me heal? Go...

Topic is Sleeping.
question

 crushedinpa (original poster member #46787) posted at 4:13 PM on Tuesday, February 24th, 2015

I am asking for opinions on the best book for my WH to read about how to understand my feeling and help me heal? He has said he would read a book, but I doubt he will read more than one. I just wanted opinions on the books most helpful for wayward spouse to read. Wayward people feel free to chime in what helped you help your spouse. Thank you.

Me 47: BS
Him 47: WS
M 22 yrs with 1 DD (age 17) and 13 year old twin DS
D-Day 1/28/2015 (1.5 mos. affair) EA/some PA (his TT story)
In R (I think)

posts: 249   ·   registered: Feb. 13th, 2015
id 7128512
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FightingBack ( member #34770) posted at 2:08 PM on Wednesday, February 25th, 2015

Crushed,

I'm sure that many people here will recommend "How to Help Your Spouse Heal After your Affair" by Linda MacDonald. Including me.

It is short and concise, easy to read, and speaks very simply about the pain affairs cause and what the wayward must do.

It is a great choice for a first book to read, but I don't think it should be the last. Good Luck.

Me 53
WH 58
Married 25 years
4 children S30,D24, S23,S21
D-Day Nov. 29, 2011
15 year affair with married employee.
Together trying to make sense of it all!

posts: 1459   ·   registered: Feb. 9th, 2012
id 7129671
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 crushedinpa (original poster member #46787) posted at 8:35 PM on Wednesday, February 25th, 2015

FightingBack

I printed, it you are right, it is a great start, just praying he will read it.

Me 47: BS
Him 47: WS
M 22 yrs with 1 DD (age 17) and 13 year old twin DS
D-Day 1/28/2015 (1.5 mos. affair) EA/some PA (his TT story)
In R (I think)

posts: 249   ·   registered: Feb. 13th, 2015
id 7130198
default

FightingBack ( member #34770) posted at 7:16 PM on Thursday, February 26th, 2015

Crushed, insist that he read it. It is the very least he can do.

Me 53
WH 58
Married 25 years
4 children S30,D24, S23,S21
D-Day Nov. 29, 2011
15 year affair with married employee.
Together trying to make sense of it all!

posts: 1459   ·   registered: Feb. 9th, 2012
id 7131357
default

 crushedinpa (original poster member #46787) posted at 7:34 PM on Thursday, February 26th, 2015

He started to read it last night...

Me 47: BS
Him 47: WS
M 22 yrs with 1 DD (age 17) and 13 year old twin DS
D-Day 1/28/2015 (1.5 mos. affair) EA/some PA (his TT story)
In R (I think)

posts: 249   ·   registered: Feb. 13th, 2015
id 7131380
default

Lark ( member #43773) posted at 6:37 PM on Friday, February 27th, 2015

It's a short book and worth a reread (or 2, or 3)

Our book list ahs been:

How to Help your Spouse Heal - most useful to date. My husband read it 4x

Not Just Friends - this is useful for understanding how affairs happen, and more MC type looking at the marriage and individual biases, etc

We are now working through

The Gifts of Imperfection - my husband hit a bad wall with shame, and this is helping him face what he's done, not just glimpse it and cringe. It has helped both of us open up

Our books after that are

Five Love Languages (together this time, I've read most of it by myself)

7 principles of marriage (together)

[This message edited by Lark at 7:04 PM, February 27th (Friday)]

“It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” - Dumbledore

posts: 4131   ·   registered: Jun. 18th, 2014   ·   location: California
id 7132668
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 crushedinpa (original poster member #46787) posted at 8:24 PM on Friday, February 27th, 2015

LARK:

Thank you these are very helpful.

Me 47: BS
Him 47: WS
M 22 yrs with 1 DD (age 17) and 13 year old twin DS
D-Day 1/28/2015 (1.5 mos. affair) EA/some PA (his TT story)
In R (I think)

posts: 249   ·   registered: Feb. 13th, 2015
id 7132851
Topic is Sleeping.
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