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Newest Member: DakotaBoy

The Book Club :
'Attached' by Amir Levine & Rachel Heller

Topic is Sleeping.
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 sillyoldsod (original poster member #43649) posted at 9:14 AM on Friday, March 6th, 2015

Having just finished this book I've started to read it again from start to finish.

Many books on 'Attachment theory' can be quite dry and scholarly whereas this book deals with the issues on a practical everyday level. It helps you to determine your own attachment style as well as identifying attachment styles of others and how to connect better with partners with potentially very different comfort levels of intimacy.

For those on here (most likely all of us?) with either anxious or avoidant attachment styles (or both!) this book is worth it's weight in gold, particularly to those either in reconciliation or starting their 'new beginnings'.

It would be interesting to read feedback on this book from others on here.

I've never met a sociopath I didn't like.

posts: 683   ·   registered: Jun. 7th, 2014   ·   location: UK
id 7140690
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shakentocore ( member #46124) posted at 5:50 PM on Thursday, March 12th, 2015

I haven't read it, but my IC (who I may switch) recommended "Wired for Love." Also about attachment thoery.

DDay - Christmas 2014. Working on R.

posts: 3711   ·   registered: Dec. 29th, 2014
id 7147926
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 sillyoldsod (original poster member #43649) posted at 9:11 AM on Thursday, April 9th, 2015

I recommended this book (Attached) to a friend of mine who just happens to be an experienced counsellor. He was blown away by it, discovering some attachment stuff about himself that even he was not aware of!

As a result he is recommending it to most of the couples clients he is currently working with.

I must say this is one of, if not the best book I have read since D-Day and has helped me to recognise and come to terms with the fuckedupness of both me and my WW as a result of our attachment issues.

The book provides an invaluable insight for those of us looking to move forward with our lives and relate better to others whether we're reconciliating, separating or divorcing.

[This message edited by sillyoldsod at 3:12 AM, April 9th (Thursday)]

I've never met a sociopath I didn't like.

posts: 683   ·   registered: Jun. 7th, 2014   ·   location: UK
id 7180407
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onlytime ( member #45817) posted at 2:38 PM on Thursday, April 9th, 2015

Thanks for posting about this book. I will be picking it up from my local library today and will post back once I have read it.

R'd w/ BetterFuture13
T 20+ yrs w/ adult kids 😇 + grands
"The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall" ~Nelson Mandela

posts: 6298   ·   registered: Dec. 3rd, 2014   ·   location: 🇨🇦
id 7180576
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 sillyoldsod (original poster member #43649) posted at 12:46 PM on Wednesday, April 15th, 2015

As you can probably tell Onlytime, I'm really keen on this book. I hope you get as much out of it as I did and I look forward to reading your review.

I would love others to read it as well and give a critical appraisal on here. Although 'Attachment Theory' is not a new theory I believe the way it's presented in this particular book makes it very easy to read and understand. There were many 'lightbulb' moments for me.

I don't say this lightly but I believe this book really is a life changer!

I've never met a sociopath I didn't like.

posts: 683   ·   registered: Jun. 7th, 2014   ·   location: UK
id 7187816
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Regret44 ( member #45384) posted at 4:15 PM on Wednesday, April 15th, 2015

I've read many articles by the authors and a blog post by them as well. I find the attachment theory to be even more powerful than the Languages of Love. I need to get the book.

I tried bringing it up in MC, but it didn't go anywhere. I'm avoidant...classic case avoidant. And I think my partner displays anxious traits, but tested as secure.

I think that when things are calm in a relationship, we might all be secure or at least appear secure. It's when things are stressful that our inherent attachment style really shows itself.

Really interesting stuff for sure.

posts: 330   ·   registered: Oct. 27th, 2014
id 7188054
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Michelle79 ( member #44524) posted at 6:30 AM on Saturday, August 22nd, 2015

📝

Me:BW
Him: WH
Married 13 years, 3 kids

posts: 52   ·   registered: Aug. 15th, 2014
id 7322938
Topic is Sleeping.
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