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Looking for a book recommendation for healing after affair alone ... without WS.

STBXWW and I are divorcing and I'm looking for recommendations for healing in this situation (seems like most books are aimed at restoring trust, healing together, etc.).

Thanks.

"Love Must Be Tough". Quick, easy read and downloadable I think.

Although the author hopes that the WS will wake up, the book is 100% how to be confident in yourself when a spouse has an affair, how to tell them you will not accept them remaining in your life!

It SO helped me to see the affair was NOT about me, but about WS. It helped me to "snap" out of it and realize what a true treasure I am. It shows how the WS crossed the line of respect with us over and over and how that behavior is unacceptable.

The book is written by Dr James Dobson, and you would think he would say to try to nice your spouse back, be understanding, etc. But he says any relationship requires that each person be respectful to the other person, and when that doesn't happen, you MUST tell that person to stay away from you!!!! that you will not tolerate being deceived, lied to, etc, because you are an awesome person who only accepts quality in your life.

Anyway, I felt 100% better after only 2 chapters! My WS was telling everyone I changed. He wanted to come back and I said no, not without him getting major help! it's funny bc I was a super nice wife b4 dday, and I guess he thought he could cake-eat.

[This message edited by homewrecked2011 at 10:10 PM, August 2nd (Wednesday)]

Thanks homewrecked.

I have read that book, though I think my STBXW ended up with it and who knows where it is now (I'd like to re-read it for sure). It was very helpful and provided a lot of insight for sure. Glad to hear it helped you as well.

Open to any other recommendations. For example, I see books like After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful by Janis Spring. And The Journey from Abandonment to Healing: Revised Updated: Surviving Through and Recovering from the Five Stages that Accompany the Loss of Love by Susan Anderson.

Anyone have any insight if either of those fit the bill, or are they more geared towards a salvageable relationship?

Thanks.

One of the very best books I read post divorce was 'Rebuilding When Your Relationship Ends' by Bruce Fisher. I recommend you give it a try at some point.

Best wishes.

Thanks for your recommendation!

I actually bought this book last year (when I was in the thick of it) and never ended up reading it! I'll definitely dig it out and dig in.

Thanks silly!

I second SOS's recommendation.

After the affair was good. A lot of practical advice. One thing I didn't like about it was that the chapters are really long.

I just finished "Living and Loving After Betrayal" by Steven Stosny. It focuses on the reader (betrayed person). My WH and I are R, but I have a friend who is in an opposite situation. Her husband left her and told her over text that he wants D. As I read this book I thought of her, and that a lot of what's in this book could be really helpful for someone who is trying the 180. I ordered it for her on Amazon.