Topic is Sleeping.
limitedenergy (original poster member #59462) posted at 3:48 AM on Tuesday, August 8th, 2017
By Dr Phil
I read this because for some reason it is a fixed presence on the left of my screen under the healing library.
It is not about affairs. It's about marriages in general. It has a lot of exercises, like journaling feelings and stuff.
I have always liked Dr Phil. I especially like some of his sayings, they really ring true for me. "You can't change what you don't acknowledge" is a good one. Can't think of others right now.
I didn't particularly find this book helpful though. Maybe because it isn't about affairs, maybe because I get a little tired of his written voice.
There is a chapter that has a section about how well you know your spouse. We went over that together and answered the questions about each other. Things like "if your spouse was driving, can you name what they are listening to".
We both found that fun and were surprised to see we know so much about each other. I think we got almost every question.
limitedenergy (original poster member #59462) posted at 4:07 AM on Tuesday, August 8th, 2017
"The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior." I guess this is basically why we have such a hard time trusting our WS's.
I finally started to see remorse in mine, and he is making a genuine effort. But... is it real? All of those lies! Could he be faking? It doesn't seem like it to me, it seems real, but the lies have built a foundation of mistrust.
I was thinking about that quote when I was reading an article (probably on SI) about trust. It said the same thing as Dr Phil; that the WS needs to build a track record of truth in order for the BS to trust again.
Topic is Sleeping.
