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WH doesn't read books. He can read and has good reading comprehension. How do you read a book with your spouse? I don't want to read and bring up discussion points because I think he will miss valuable items for him.

Is it as simple as each reading the same chapter and then discuss?

My h and I take turns reading out loud to each other. We actually started doing this years ago. We had visited a historic ranch and bought a book about it. So as we took turns driving, we took turns reading. Anyway, it was a good foundation and now we take turns reading the mc recommended books, sometimes before going to sleep and sometimes in the car. We have also purchased audio books to listen to together.

If he can read, and has good reading comprehension, what is stopping him from reading?

If it is a matter of not absorbing the written word well, audiobooks are a good option. Has he considered that?

I think reading reconciliation books was a healthy and useful thing for us. Except,he did all the reading, he comprehended it better when he does. And he's deaf, so I was constantly repeating.

We had a rule that if anything was too intense or triggery, we'd stop for twenty-four hours. We wouldn't necessarily stop to discuss at the end of the chapter but whenever we needed to. We tried hard to stick to "I" statements at that point..

Good luck

Thanks all. I'm glad to hear that books helped for some. I am afraid of a backslide in communication if we are not vigilant. I like the idea of reading it aloud to him. I do this with all kinds of silly facts and articles already :)

I'm very interested in what books you found that you could read together. I'd love to do so. Thanks!

I'm very interested in what books you found that you could read together. I'd love to do so. Thanks!

My WH listens to audiobooks, so I had him download "How to Help Your Spouse Heal". He listened to it on his own and I haven't yet.

So far I've been reading and then folding down pages that I find relevant and we will have discussions based on those. We have almost nightly discussions.

I went out of town a few weeks ago and I took notes on some of the books. I had a lot of time to kill so all I did was read by the pool. I still have my notes and plan to use them for future talking points.

I have also had him read things and then gone over it with him. A recent example is the web article posted in this forum about infidelity trauma. I had to print it out because it was hard to read online.

Helen Keller, I just got "Not Just Friends" from the library and haven't opened it yet but have heard great things about it.

Would your WH be willing to read out loud to you?

My WH wasn't a reader. The affair reconciliation changed that.

I am a reader, but I needed to know he was comprehending the materials he was reading. It is one of the reasons teachers used to have kids read out loud - comprehension increases. When you have the person reflect on what they read, it begins to internalize. Journaling does the same thing, but non-readers are seldom journalers.

I asked my WH to read out loud to me at night before bed. Every night at first. This went on for over a year. He would tell me what he was thinking. I would give him my thoughts. Sometimes, especially if he was sick I would read, but I would pause at the end of a concept, and ask what he thought. I wouldn't push for whole chapter - we all only have so much capacity at the end of a day.

Also, at times, early in coming out of the fog, he would get overwhelmed and not know what to say. That cleared.

We still read, sometimes separately, and will read certain points on things together.

For a while, neither of us were capable of reading anything fun. Now we do that agian - he was reading a western the other day. Started to read it to me. Very man stuff. Very bloody. I told him, maybe we don't need to do that one together.