SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Wanted to reach out and see if anyone had any advice and or experience with trust and anxiety issues in a new relationship.

My previous relationship ended two years after infidelity. I tried to stick around and move passed it but in the end it just drove me insane and we eventually split off.

Fast forward to now I'm seeing someone new and she's incredible! Makes me feel like I never knew what love was. I could go on and on about her.

However as we move close to 6 months together I'm finding myself anxious and paranoid constantly. She has done nothing directly to bring this on and it's starting to rob me of the joy I was having thus far.

We were both cheated on in our previous relationships but she seems to be totally fine and trusting while I'm here tearing myself apart in my own head.

Any tips? Advice?

Thanks in advance!

Early on, I had to keep reminding myself to trust them based on what they show me...not by 'idiots of my past'.

I was very honest about it all and was blessed to be in relationships with some very understanding people that helped me along.

Importantly - have you discussed this with her? If not, I would encourage you to do so and work on this together. Get some outside help (ie counseling) if you can't move past these feelings. You don't want your past to get in the way of a good relationship.

Also - six months is usually a pivotal point during dating. The 'best behavior' starts to wear down and people let more of the 'real them' to each other. This is a good thing (really, it is). Could it be that you are having trouble transitioning to the next phase of relationship (self-sabatoging it a little)?

You can totally work through this. Don't be afraid to get the tools you need to do so.

We talked about it a good bit in the first few months together and she has and is really good about understanding and helping me with it. I just know it's gonna get old and I have to learn to let it go.

It's not about letting it go, but coming to the realization it no longer applies. Good communication is key.

I actually think it is about letting go of your past. If something comes up for you (anxiety, fear, etc) it is up for healing. If you ignore it, it will only resurface later. I can recommend two methods that are excellent at healing stuff that comes up. One is called The Sedona Method (you can look it up, lots of free materials), and another one is Ho'oponopono. I read a few books on the latter but ended up taking a full course and it really works. It is about taking responsibility for what is showing up in our lives. The Sedona method is about allowing our emotions to surface without fighting against them (figthing them causes them to be pushed down to our subconscious and they resurface later). You just allow them to be, you welcome them even asking for more to come up and you will notice that they dissipate fairly quickly.