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New job after not working for the last 7 months (company sold and I elected not to stay).

Good opportunity in my skill set. They want me and have offered a nice salary and sign on bonus. Hours are easy - probably less than 40/wk. Location is great - 5 to 10 min from home and I will likely also have the option to work from home at times. I’ll be working with friends from my prior company so I’m already going in knowing my main coworkers.

It is the perfect job in so many ways.

So why am I feeling so "eh"…actually bordering on sadness??

I don’t have to work - so that basically means I can walk away at any time. I feel like I need to work because my self-discipline gets so lax when I’m not working. It’s not like I am going to be giving up a ton of other enjoyable activities I am currently doing. I like the industry, what I would be doing - so I don’t necessarily think that’s the issue.

It seems like it has something to do with commitment - which I’m seeing that in many other ways too (ie, not wanting to make appointments, *schedule* a dinner/HH with friends, etc). And again, it’s not like I already have a full schedule so it’s not a time constraint thing. I happily do NOTHING all day. Some have suggested this may be depression…but I mostly feel happy and content…with doing nothing - other than that has NEVER been my MO (so I feel a lot of self-imposed guilt in that area).

The other piece I am dealing with is some kind of "awareness" about death and how precious time is - especially since I’ve lost both my parents and a close friend. Something about that has totally changed my perceptive in a way that’s hard to understand. I’ll turn 55 this year and it’s like I’ve become super aware of the remaining "good years" (if Im so lucky). So it feels like I need to make the most of this time…while simultaneously struggling with exactly what that means (because nothing seems to actually meet that criteria).

It’s a weird place and I’m not even sure if I’ve done a good job explaining. Life is somewhat meaningless against the paradigm I once had - and that’s ok because that was all an illusion, limited concept, anyway. But at the same time, I recognize time is also precious and limited - gotta get all the juice out of the squeeze. And these two ideas seem to be struggling to co-exist.

I sure could use some help unpacking this if anyone has any insight or wisdom.

Sounds like you are dealing with some grief, and situation depression, not I'm depressed in the sense that you see no point in going on, but more like some low level, feeling blah about most things.

I would encourage you to take this job, and I would also encourage you to schedule a vacation/trip someplace fun and interesting for 3-6 months from now, and start working to plan for it, and what you will do on it, if you will have a friend go or do it solo. It will give you something to start looking forward to, as far as the job goes, I say take it, and see how it goes, increasing your social interactions will help your brain and get you moving in a positive direction.

I have found that working from home for 3 years now is isolating and makes me never want to leave the house, and it's not depression, but I'm content to be here and do me. LOL. But you do need that social interaction, and daily laughter with friend/coworkers to help keep those brain chemicals in balance and on track.

Sounds like you are dealing with some grief, and situation depression, not I'm depressed in the sense that you see no point in going on, but more like some low level, feeling blah about most things.

The low level, feeling blah describes my feeling perfectly. I do understand the grief aspect because it bubbles up occasionally…maybe I just haven’t completely adjusted either to the changes.

I would also encourage you to schedule a vacation/trip someplace fun and interesting for 3-6 months

I’m actually at the start of planning a rather substantial remodel to my home. This is a HUGE step for me in moving forward post-divorce with some aspects that seemed unattainable afterwards. It’s definitely something I’m excited about/looking forward to. And while the job initially seemed that it could possibly stymie the remodel, I actually think it will be good timing. (And they are aware that I’m in this project.). I’ll need to be out of the house so the job fulfills a portion of that. In that regard, it seems like life is helping me right now. I also feel I need to get some distance from my close friend/neighbor’s family since her death. I’ve started to realize that carrying such a large portion of that burden is both getting heavy and beyond what I need to be doing.

I have found that working from home for 3 years now is isolating and makes me never want to leave the house, and it's not depression, but I'm content to be here and do me

Yes! This is the predominant reason why I took the job. Otherwise, I’m just getting more and more reclusive.

As always, you make very good points, tush; I really appreciate your input. ❤️

[This message edited by truthsetmefree at 5:45 PM, Monday, June 6th]

I'm turning 69 (!) this year and am thinking of applying for a full time admin job at my alma mater, working for the department I graduated from with an MA a few years back.

Have been working on and off up until last fall, so my retirement hasn't been an idle one, things keep falling in my lap and I couldn't say no!

I think it's healthy to acknowledge that the whole world is suffering through a major collective trauma with all that's been happening since 2020, so embrace that and know that you're not alone. We are part of a huge tribe and it affects everyone on some level no matter how 'normally' we appear to be managing on the surface.

Personally I'm only just coming out of a long period of self-imposed isolation/hibernation, just dipping back into some careful socializing and considering various options for this final chapter of my life.

This particular job just popped up on my radar and although I had no intention or anticipation of ever working full time again, it appeals to me as a way to a) get back to hanging around young people again and b) making a nice chunk of cash on top of my smallish pension so I get to keep my fabulous rental apartment for a few more years without spending down my savings.

It would also be something I could easily bail from if things went sideways, so I'm thinking what the heck, just go for it.

Give it a bit of time and see how you feel in a few months. And good luck with the reno, that's exciting!