SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Hello everyone,
This is my first time posting here. Just the fact that my past actions have led me here fills me with pain, shame, guilt and regret. I'm having a difficult time having compassion and forgiveness for myself and would like to know if anyone here knows about a support group that meets via zoom on a regular basis (for WS). My spouse and I are reading several books to help us in this process, and we are also going to therapy (individual and couples) but i think that having a support group might also help me in this journey.
Thank you.

Welcome to SI. SI can serve as a wonderful source of support for you. I haven't personally found any good local groups that address infidelity, however some of our members have gone to Sex Addicts Anonymous, and often there are church groups and such, if you are religious. Hopefully some of our other members have more resources for you.

That being said, I'd like to suggest the following. First, a book called "How to help your spouse heal from your affair" by Linda MacDonald. Also, "Not just friends" is a great resource. Finally, "The Healing Library" (see link at the top of this page) is a wonderful place to start. I suggest you read both the WS and BS articles, as it will help to give you some insight into the BS perspective and experience.

Can you share some of your story with us? It would be easier to help tailor some resources and advice if we had a little more to go on?

In the meantime, please, if there is anything at all that you haven't disclosed to her... do so. "Trickle truth" kills reconciliation efforts, and many WS's tend to hide behind a shield of "not wanting to cause them more pain" and so continuing to lie. This robs our spouses of their agency however. Reconciliation is all about rebuilding trust, and creating a new relationship post-infidelity. Truth and communication are key.

Please keep coming back and let us know how things are going for you.