SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Nothing new to see here. Going into my first Ironman in 11 days. Totally first world probs. After all the triggering, decided to try another EDMR session just to make running into OW not such a thing. 1. 5 out of 7 days of runs ins plus EMDR....yep do not recommend. 2. Aftermath of emdr makes me attack FWH....again do not recommend. Thankfully, he's actually in the kitchen making me dinner because he knows what I'm trying to do...and it's one thing he can do. 3. We're actually 4.5 years out and mostly in a better place (except for the ramped up run ins). It isn't lost on me that I'm CHOOSING to be in a space where OW is. Choosing to own it. Doing this, everyone asks what my why is. Am I pathetic that it is....F-you? It feels pathetic. I just want to finish. Skipped the crazy boat workout this evening, where she usually follows me around, because I just don't have the energy for that.

And also, I'm in that weird emotional space leading up to this....where, I'm sure if I hadn't shielded myself from this....I'd totally be vulnerable to an affair.

Did I also say....that this is such a common thing that divorce by triathlon is a topic on every Tri-club's page?

It isn't lost on me that I'm CHOOSING to be in a space where OW is. Choosing to own it. Doing this, everyone asks what my why is. Am I pathetic that it is....F-you? It feels pathetic. I just want to finish.

I relish getting in the OW's space and making her uncomfortable, so I get the F-you, but this bitch is next level obnoxious. I just scrolled through your other post and saw that she's still following you around and put her bag down on top of your stuff. I think I'd be inclined to literally launch her bag like a discus thrower or something.

[This message edited by SacredSoul33 at 3:00 AM, Thursday, September 14th]

Going into my first Ironman in 11 days.

Good luck! I don't think it's pathetic at all to choose not to let her take something you enjoy and have trained so incredibly hard for, away from you. I get it. If you need the "fuck you" energy to make it to the finish line, than by all means harness that!

Did I also say....that this is such a common thing that divorce by triathlon is a topic on every Tri-club's page?

This doesn't surprise me at all. My inlaws are avid triathletes and it's an enormous, collossal, necessarily selfish time commitment to train for one of these things. Even if there is no infidelity involved one can see how it can put strain on a marriage. I imagine spending extended amounts of time with fit sweaty people high on endorphins is a recipe for disaster. Over the years my inlaws have told us about 2 different instances of infidelity amongst tri friends of theirs.

Excited to hear how it went. Good luck and own it.

You’re at bad ass status for showing up and not being afraid to share space with OW. For like a millisecond I felt like I needed to avoid AP and the mutual places she hung out. She was an old HS classmate of fWH, his cousin is also her BFF. We have hundreds of mutual friends so run ins are bound to happen. I had massive panic and anxiety thinking she was going to be at whatever event we would be at. Then I realized 1. I did nothing wrong. 2. Not my shame, not my secrets, not my burden, but my f’ng problem. 3. AP you don’t own the whole wide world!!
I couldn’t live my life in peace if I was constantly thinking I’d run into her and needed an exit plan. So I stopped caring about it and went about my business.
Good luck this weekend!! Kick some ass!!

Blackbird….. how’d you get there? I still panic