SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I was going through some stuff and found my old wallet. I love this wallet because it zippers all the way around.

I was looking through it and found photos of wh and I when we first dated.

It's from one of those photo booths.

It's weird to see a photo of him hugging me tight and looking at me with love instead of hate. There's real joy in those photos. It was a good time in our relationship.

And yet a week ago I was cleaning up photos on my phone and came to DD's grade eight grad photos. My brother had come and took photos for me of the "family". In the last photo wh is looking at me but the hate he has for me is so evident. That mean glare, the scary look.

WTF happened between the two sets of photos to go from loving to hateful? Ugh!

Any photos of us with the kids seems appropriate to keep but what about photos of just wh and I?

What did you all do with the "stuff from the marriage that died?

I didn't have kids with mine so I got rid of everything. It was pretty freeing honestly.

Maybe for you put all the pics with kids in one pile and find a pretty box for them to go in so your kids can look at them if they want to.

As far as the others? My suggestion is to burn them. Or feed them to the goats. Or shred them. I think it would make you feel better to just destroy them Dragn!

I asked dd if she wanted any of the pics of me and her dad and she kinda shrugged.

It's sad because for a time wh and I were happy. Or appeared to be. It wasn't all doom and gloom. At least not for me.

Owell. Perhaps a bonfire is in order. I'll ask the other kids if they want them. Little M is at a friend's for the night so I'll ask tomorrow.

My Counselor at the DV Center said that’s why it’s so hard to leave a toxic relationship because there’s a lot of good mixed in with the bad. But the bad is enough reason to leave.

I’d say box up the photos and ask your children in a few years if they want any.

I’d say box up the photos and ask your children in a few years if they want any

.

Ya that's a good idea.

We are boxing up all of his stuff anyways. The master bedroom will now be dd's bedroom so I have to clear out all of wh stuff. It's been a slow process with everything else that needs to get done and all the crazy shit going on but slow and steady wins the race lol.

I moved digital photos with him in it to the cloud. They will be there if my kids ever want them.

Physical framed photos, our wedding album, framed wedding invitation, saved cards and letters, honeymoon souvenirs, small sentimental gifts of jewelry or keepsakes, personalized decor, items with our monogram etc. I left everything in a box for him.

I"m planning to throw it all away!

I'm a product of D before I was old enough to remember my parents being married. I suppose my mom trashed the photos of them together, because I've only seen a couple that my dad kept, which were things like her participating in his promotion ceremonies. I would have liked to see them in candid shots when they didn't dislike each other so intensely. It's hard for me to imagine them together.

I think your kids are old enough to know and remember, though, so they may not care.

It's hard to just throw it all away. Like it or not he's part of my past,a good past in the beginning. And depending on how the criminal case goes, he will be apart of my future albeit as limited as possible.

I'll box up everything and what he doesn't take the kids can go through.

"moved digital photos with him in it to the cloud. They will be there if my kids ever want them"

I digitized things to share
I gave him any pictures of just him I had
Pictures of just me I kept

Sending ((virtual hugs)). It is very painful stuff to have to deal with

Things that were his before we met, that I didn't want/need, I gave back to him. I have our wedding album packed up with wedding stuff. Probably can pitch some of that now that I'm many years out. No clue what I did with pictures of us, maybe they are in that box. Or maybe I burned them.