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Newest Member: Apostrophos

Divorce/Separation :
Polygraph reliability?

Topic is Sleeping.
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 bella444 (original poster member #68825) posted at 5:33 AM on Saturday, February 3rd, 2024

My gut says he's lying. He adamantly denies. I don't know what to do. Looking online it appears polygraphs can be incorrect. I want to believe him, of course, but it just doesn't feel right..... Any advice appreciated. sad

[This message edited by bella444 at 5:38 AM, Saturday, February 3rd]

posts: 58   ·   registered: Nov. 12th, 2018   ·   location: SC
id 8823455
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ff4152 ( member #55404) posted at 11:15 AM on Saturday, February 3rd, 2024

I don’t know much of your back story aside from your WH having multiple A’s. You joined here in 2018 and if I read your post correctly, he was still cheating as recently as last year.

As you’ve undoubtedly read here before, trust your gut. 6 years later (if your dday was in 2018) is your marriage any better? Is he any better? Is he a safe partner? Judging by your post, it certainly doesn’t sound like it.

From what I read, a reputable LD tech can give you reliable results. But they’re not infallible. Would you be able to accept that despite what your gut is telling you?

I’m certain others will be along who’ve walked this path and can give better advice than I. But my two cents is if he hasn’t changed in 6 years, strapping him to a machine isn’t going to change much. If he is actually lying and somehow beats the test, it could embolden him to continue his ways.

Me -FWS

posts: 2128   ·   registered: Sep. 30th, 2016
id 8823460
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gr8ful ( member #58180) posted at 3:32 PM on Saturday, February 3rd, 2024

There’s a reason many 3-letter government agencies and large corporations use polygraphs on a daily basis. No, they are not admissible in a court of law, but YOU are the court here. An experienced practitioner will share their thoughts afterwards if they suspect the subject has employed countermeasures.

posts: 466   ·   registered: Apr. 6th, 2017
id 8823471
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HellFire ( member #59305) posted at 7:16 PM on Saturday, February 3rd, 2024

They're inadmissible in court,because a true sociopath believes their own lies.

Trust your gut. Your gut,and a polygraph, are way more trustworthy than a man who has lied and cheated.

But you are what you did
And I'll forget you, but I'll never forgive
The smallest man who ever lived..

posts: 6819   ·   registered: Jun. 20th, 2017   ·   location: The Midwest
id 8823493
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irwinr89 ( member #42457) posted at 8:52 PM on Monday, March 11th, 2024

When the CIA needed to be absolutely sure that the informer of Osama Bin Laden location was true they put him thru a polygraph...
If polygraph were BS would the agency had taken such a step just trusting an informer?? An risk US navy seals lives on a lie for a setup??
The answer is no, they are not BS, they work far better than anyone cares to admit, because everyone likes to discredit something that might expose all their lies....

posts: 76   ·   registered: Feb. 14th, 2014   ·   location: Miami
id 8828412
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StillLivin ( member #40229) posted at 10:16 PM on Thursday, March 21st, 2024

Polygraphs are only as good as the person trained on giving them is. I had to take a polygraph for my job every few years, I used to work for one of those secret squirrel type lettered organizations. The people conducting my polygraphs were top notch. Nothing ever got passed them. But, they are not admissible in court because you get what you pay for. There are many variables that need to be accounted for. A very well trained polygraph person is skilled enough to mitigate those variables. But it takes a lot of training. For example, a sociopath might not show a difference in baseline when lying. However, someone skilled will notice that there is never a jump in the needle, so to speak, and will immediately recognize that and stop the interrogation. There are physiological things too such as exercising within 8 hours, medicatuins that affect heart rate and blood pressure, or chemical/hormonal imbalances, over or under hydration, etc. Again, a good polygraph person will be able to spot that immediately and stop the test. Having closed ended questions that require only yes or no responses is also important.
Most of the time the biggest value of conducting a polygraph is the parking lot confessions you get for fear of being caught during testing.
Now, here's the negative. If you feel your WS isn't being honest, don't waste your money on the polygraph. It's not your job to believe them, it's their job to prove their trustworthiness in whatever way they can figure out how to. Just file for the D and press forward.

"Bitch please a good man can't be stolen." ROFLMAO - SBB: 7/2/2014

posts: 6135   ·   registered: Aug. 8th, 2013   ·   location: AZ
id 8830054
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StillLivin ( member #40229) posted at 10:35 PM on Thursday, March 21st, 2024

I'll give you one example. On my first polygraph I was asked if I'd ever stolen, besides the event I had been honest about (I was 5 and learning how to read, I picked up a book and carried it out with me). There was this instance where MY FRIEND snuck some food and put it in my bag. When we got outside, I realized what she did and went back inside and gave it back. I had completely forgotten, consciously, about this incident. My subconscious hadn't. I flagged as lying because of micro variance from my honest baseline readings. The interrogator stopped the testing. He explained even little events needed to be discussed. He carefully questioned me until I remembered that incident. Because I'm usually honest to a fault, I felt like I had stolen and had to return the item to get rid of the guilty feeling. I think I was about 12 when that happened. So definitely old enough to know better and would have been complicit had I gone along with my friend and ate the damn twinkies. It's not really about lying but about how our body physiologically responds when we feel guilty or feel like we are lying.
Once we finished discussing that incident and he hooked me back up, he asked something to the effect of "except for the instances we discussed, have you ever blah blah blah?" I passed with flying colors.
A less experienced polygraph interrogator might not have even noticed the miniscule differences from my baseline readings and found me as being honest, etc. I might have gotten away with "lying," or they might have flagged me as a liar and stopped the testing.
Sticking your dick in strange leaves a lot less wriggle room for confusion, though. It's hard to feel guilty about accidentally bumping into someone versus having sex.
You pretty much know he's lying and you know he's going to fail, so why waste money on something you already know the answer to? Are you seeking permission to pull the plug?

"Bitch please a good man can't be stolen." ROFLMAO - SBB: 7/2/2014

posts: 6135   ·   registered: Aug. 8th, 2013   ·   location: AZ
id 8830062
Topic is Sleeping.
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