SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Hi everyone and Happy Monday. This is totally random, but something I have been thinking about for some time now. Has anyone ever thought of writing a book about your infidelity experience? Or has anyone actually written one? I love writing. It has always been an outlet for me and has helped me heal so much. But I have been thinking about writing a book that will go far beyond helping just me. I want to write a book that will help others that are going through similar experiences.

A couple of years ago, something happened in my town that has weighed heavily on my heart. A married woman with young children passed away. I knew this woman and her husband as business acquaintances. No personal relationship. A few weeks after her passing, I found out that her husband had been having affair with his business partner. She worked in the same company with her husband and the OW. They were separated and she had moved in with her mother. Apparently, she was dealing with a lot of trauma from the affair. The OW would degrade her professionally and her husband wouldn't do much about it. I guess it began making sense to her why this was happening. She was just being treated very unkindly. Since she was dealing with so much, she didn't want her children to see her struggling. She decided to move in with her mother until she was in a better place, emotionally and mentally. Well.....her depression got the best of her and apparently, she took her own life.

Even though I didn't know this woman very well, it broke my heart. I can't stop thinking about this. I remember feeling like my world was over after discovering my husband's affair. I remember feeling like I just wanted the pain to go away. I remember feeling so desperate to not hurt anymore. It felt like a never-ending cycle. I think we have all felt this one at one point. I still hurt every day. But my kids are what got me through every day. I had to get up and put on a smile for them. I had to create as much normalcy for them in the midst of their world falling apart. To think that some people are so hurt. Feel so alone. Feel that there is no other way out. It breaks my heart into a million pieces. It is so unfair. Maybe if she had come across this website, or someone else that had experienced what she was experiencing.....it may have made all the difference. Maybe it would have given her the hope she needed to know that there was a rainbow at the end of her storm.

I don't know if this idea of mine is too farfetched. I know nothing about publishing a book. I just know that I love writing and want to make a difference. I am willing to be vulnerable and transparent about what happened to me and my family. I want others to know they are not alone.

So if anyone has any advice for me or has done this before, please share your thoughts/experiences. Thank you!!!

  Moving to General

I am currently working on one.
I have a lot of the outline done and I have almost all of the points I want to cover but I know I will add a lot more as I go.
I started writing a few weeks ago but it is still really hard because I’m only 10 months out but yes it is on my list.
My h actually wants to partake in helping too when the time is right and encourages me to write it. I love to write too, I say go for it!

I have thought about this a lot. It might be just for me, to put the whole thing in one narrative might just be cathartic for me.

Anne Bercht (beyondaffairs website) wrote one. I have not read it, but you could check it out

I think a lot of people on here have thought about it and have done it, at least in part. I have written something that could be considered a book - it really was more of a journal-type thing that turned into more and now it has chapters and links and all kinds of stuff. I think what happens (for me at least) is that as you progress through the process, it is less all-consuming, and there comes a time when you are happy to not think about it so much. When you come back to the book your perspective has changed.

There are guides like me who are still on here frequently but even then the experience is different. There is less book from the betrayed perspective in me now and more book about the infidelity process. I guess my book 6 years ago would have been much more raw, more about the absolute pain a BS goes though - my book today would be much more akin to a Shirley Glass style book (helpful and solemn but cautiously optimistic).

I am a writer and at least one-quarter of my clients are doing books about infidelity. Makes me very sad.

[This message edited by NorthernMSB at 12:48 PM, Thursday, August 15th]

Yes. Sort of.

I think a lot of people here enjoy writing and process through writing and that’s something many of us have in common.

The book I wrote is fiction, and rather than it being directly about infidelity, it was a way to process my pain. In my book the husband died. And that probably seems morbid, but I feel like infidelity is kind of a death of the person that you knew. But the woman goes on her own journey of self discovery. So it has elements of someone moving through grief.

I didn’t choose infidelity only because I feel I have written a lot here on that, and I wanted the story to be more about coping and healing when life goes wrong. But a lot of the emotional factors come from my experience.

[This message edited by hikingout at 12:14 AM, Friday, August 16th]

No, certainly not!!!

It was such a special experience that I would not want to sully the memories by commercializing it!