If your husband is an SA, he needs to see a CSAT and go to a 12 step group.
I was holding off posting. Before.
Fantasy is totally part of DH's addictive behavioral set. He used real women (moms at the kids school, coworkers, random women walking down the street) to get high. As well as the p*rn.
It's not crushes on women.
SA is a strange beast. I actually think this time, DH has it all figured out now. He's had a 7 year sobriety stint now, which is pretty unheard of. Prior to that, he had a 3 year sobriety stint. Don't get me wrong, he has to stay vigilent. And I'm comfortable in that.
I'm not suggesting that you stay at all costs.
It would have been better, in some respects if I would have divorced right away.
I also think talking to the IC is deeply personal. I didn't want to hear about my husband's addictive behaviors in any sort of detail.
Aside from his addiction, we are very well suited for each other and have quite a lovely partnership. If ultimate goal is for us to maintain that partnership, than I have to be careful about what I hear.
There's also no way that I would sign a waver for my IC to talk to my husband. I absolutely needed a safe, confidential place to talk and work through things.
And even if I was divorcing my husband, I would still advocate for him to see a therapist to help him with his sobriety.
