norabird ( member #42092) posted at 9:12 PM on Wednesday, March 12th, 2014
Simple ( member #18814) posted at 9:43 PM on Thursday, March 13th, 2014
Love is a choice.
True love is harder to come by than soul mates. True love requires work.
Ignorance can be cured with knowledge. There is no cure for being an idiot.
-October 3, 2007
-February 18, 2022
yearsofpain25 ( member #42012) posted at 2:02 PM on Saturday, March 15th, 2014
"I remind myself of this. I am a survivor. I have taken all this world has dished out and am still here. So there is no reason to be afraid. Whatever happens, I will survive. So now onto living. It is time for me to thrive." - DrJekyll
tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 9:12 PM on Wednesday, March 19th, 2014
Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.
tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 2:20 AM on Tuesday, March 25th, 2014
Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.
justinpaintoday ( member #42858) posted at 2:28 AM on Tuesday, March 25th, 2014
Thanks for posting....my WW is a rugsweeper all the way. Have prayed and tried to nice my way to R but no go. I am now working the 180 (day 2) to heal me without her. If she joins the M later perhaps I will be better prepared to decide my fate.
I never realized you could be in this much pain and not be dying.
tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 4:44 PM on Thursday, March 27th, 2014
Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.
Simple ( member #18814) posted at 11:03 PM on Thursday, March 27th, 2014
Love is a choice.
True love is harder to come by than soul mates. True love requires work.
Ignorance can be cured with knowledge. There is no cure for being an idiot.
-October 3, 2007
-February 18, 2022
Simple ( member #18814) posted at 10:09 PM on Friday, March 28th, 2014
Love is a choice.
True love is harder to come by than soul mates. True love requires work.
Ignorance can be cured with knowledge. There is no cure for being an idiot.
-October 3, 2007
-February 18, 2022
jjct ( member #17484) posted at 3:53 PM on Sunday, March 30th, 2014
tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 6:32 PM on Thursday, April 3rd, 2014
Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.
thisissogross ( member #30294) posted at 6:28 AM on Sunday, April 6th, 2014
i edit frequently because i have to
tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 2:32 PM on Wednesday, April 9th, 2014
Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.
Simple ( member #18814) posted at 12:26 AM on Saturday, April 12th, 2014
Love is a choice.
True love is harder to come by than soul mates. True love requires work.
Ignorance can be cured with knowledge. There is no cure for being an idiot.
-October 3, 2007
-February 18, 2022
kernel ( member #27035) posted at 8:27 PM on Sunday, April 13th, 2014
"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."
krispy47 ( member #42863) posted at 3:04 PM on Monday, April 14th, 2014
So far -- only 6 weeks out from DDay, I grant you -- my WH is doing every single thing on this list. He decided within 24 hrs of discovery that the A and all of the sick behaviors that preceded it were a colossal mistake. He's been remorseful, attentive and is eagerly seeking help for his behavior in a number of constructive ways, including IC, MC, independent reading and reading/posting here.
And yet I still feel like it isn't enough.
I feel so torn! These weeks of talking so honestly, making love so tenderly, and enjoying each other's company in ways we have not done for a decade make me wonder if a rebuilt, rearranged marriage might actually make me happier than I have ever been. At the same time, I still double over in agony every time I think about WH and his slut in my home, and about how cold and calculating his lies and betrayals were. How can this tender, loving man and that cruel, hateful POS be the same person. My head spins...
I've given myself until July 1 to make a final decision, but I'm going to feel badly if he has tried to hard and I still just can't bring myself to R. Comments or suggestions?
Me: 47 WH: 48
Married 22 years, 4 kids
DDay: 3/5/14, 7 yr LTA plus rising ONS body count
Status: currently riding the coaster from hell
annb ( member #22386) posted at 1:14 PM on Monday, April 21st, 2014
plewpiter ( member #43034) posted at 3:35 AM on Wednesday, April 23rd, 2014
krispy47, all I can say is give it time. I'm one year out, and my WW has done very few things in the Remorse column, but yet there is progress. It may be at a glacial pace for me, unfortunately, and I'm getting very impatient. It's different for every situation, of course.
You have so much going for you in that he is doing the right things, and doing them immediately. After 6 weeks, I'm sure it is normal to still have those disgusting, double over in pain, lie crying on the floor moments. I speak from experience that the memory of the "original sins" fades. What doesn't fade is a WS that refuses to do the things necessary on his/her end to reconcile. Indifference is the absolute worst.
Me: 42
WS: 39
4.5 yr-old daughter
Married 5 years (Dec 2011)
D-Day April 2013
EA (maybe more) with her boss, who she had had a PA with before meeting me
Trying to Reconcile--not seeing true remorse, but plenty of selfish regret.
jjct ( member #17484) posted at 8:42 PM on Friday, April 25th, 2014
lilacs40 ( member #31314) posted at 3:10 AM on Wednesday, April 30th, 2014
