So my wife and I have been married for 17 years and most of it has been great. We have two beautiful children, good jobs, nice house, etc….
I recently found out about an EA and probable (in my opinion) PA that my wife (then girlfriend) had with my best friend. Will call him Joe for this story. My wife and I are HS sweethearts, went to college together for a bit and then did the long distance thing for approx. 2 years while she finished school. She then moved to the city I live in and we moved in together. Should mention Joe lives in the same city, we have been best friends since college, were roommates, best man in my wedding, I was the best man in his. Just before I proposed, again we were living together, I saw a Tex exchange between Joe and my GF. She said something like "I miss you, do you miss me" and then something about "getting together". Memory is a bit fuzzy, but I immediately drove to Joe’s house and confronted him. I remember him saying something like "I dont know man, sometimes she flirts with me". For whatever reason, I buried that convo and proceeded with the proposal.
Recently I had mentioned those texts and how they have always bothered me. She then let a little bit of info slip out of her mouth that has put me on the roller coaster I’m about to describe below. All which happened before we were married and ages 23-25.
* Mentions that they shared a bed (at her apartment) during a music festival. Swears that "nothing happened". Then a week or so later I figured out this was night one of a two night ordeal. Night one was the apartment, night two was the festival where they slept in a tent together where again "nothing happened". There were two other guys with, friends of Joe, who wouldn’t tell me then or now if anything actually did happen. At the time I was under the impression that my GF was going with her roommates and Joe was also going to be there. I absolutely trusted the guy and had no idea that this was technically GF and Joe going together.
*Wife admitted to at least a 2 year texting relationship with Joe. From what I can gather this was while we were living apart and the one year while we were living together. And I think it ended when I proposed. I think…..
Should mention that about 10 years ago I had a PA with a co-worker. It was a one night thing that I absolutely regret and told my wife about it. We have been rock solid up unitl now.
Maybe I’m being silly as this all happened 18-20yrs. Ago and I certainly screwed up during our marriage. But I can’t shake the feeling that she is not being honest about what really went down between her and Joe. I plan on talking to him about it soon.
