Forum for dealing with narcissists
Do any of you know if there is a free forum where you can discuss issues with narcissists? I have seen some advertised but they are very costly.
Thank you for any info…
1 comment posted: Monday, May 6th, 2024
Typical Reply for a Narcissist - Part 2
I have my things back (most of them). Here's how it happened. I replied to his "you wanted this breakup, not me" by saying = if you didn't want things to end, why didn't you call to discuss it? Obviously, you didn't want a conversation. Then I went on to say I think he had someone else already, so by pushing me to break up with him, it eased his conscience, etc, etc. He replied with - "nothing you are saying is true - there is nobody else. You tried to tell me how to earn a living - I HAVE to work. You acted like a spoiled child"... So I reply -mentioning various points and ended with _ "all I was asking for was ONE DAY extra to combine with the only day you have off, so we could go away because it had been a year and we never went anywhere. That's not spoiled. That's feeling insignificant".
Then I was aggravated at myself, and just sent a text saying - "texting you today was a mistake. Obviously you don't want to speak about this, so tell me a day you're gone to work. Leave my stuff in front of your garage and I'll get it." (he lives an hour away). He writes - "talk later this week". I repeated my request. He replies " I said talk soon... unless you don't want to. 
I said sure - call me later. Which he did. And all it led to was a repeat discussion, and him saying once again nothing was going to change. He was working the job until the end of June. He wasn't interested in compromising - still going to work 6 days, 60 hours a week. (yet his profile said he was semi-retired)??? So I got aggravated and just said - leave the things out on Sunday. He says - I can bring them to you. I said - NO - I'll pick them up. Just make sure it's when you're at work. So I did. Got almost everything but still missing my new chess set, my perfume, a photo of me. It could be a totally honest mistake. I don't know. My main thing was to get the high chair, which I did. (It was at HIS house - not his son's) He used it when the little guy would come over.
So I text him - I'm missing 3 things.(and list them). Just mail them out tomorrow. Thanks.
4 days later, I get "I never said I didn't love you - I just said the distance made things worse". I don't reply. Next day he writes - I do miss you very much. I don't reply. 5 days later he writes _"did you block me"? I finally reply, but 5 days after that.
I stupidly wrote "No, I never blocked you. And you miss me?? Yet you text rather than call? So impersonal." His response - just checking in on you - not being an asshole.. I answer - that's nice but how come you decided to check in now?? It's been a long time since we talked. He replies - just thinking of you. Next day at 6 am - he texts - I'm always thinking of you.
I guess I was missing him. So 5 days later I get sucked in again and reply. I thought maybe I'm always being too hard with my words, and that's why he doesn't want to talk. So I try being softer "I think about you a lot too. I'm struggling with how much you hurt me. You didn't want to discuss anything, or care about my feelings. That's not how you treat someone you're supposed to love. I really don't know what you want from me with your texts? I'm not interested in being a back up plan, or a texting buddy. If I'm wrong, then you need to talk to me about it. Life is too short to play texting games.
And his response??? "I don't play games of any kind". I responded with - "I just poured my heart out to you and your reply has to do with GAMES?? I won't communicate with you anymore unless it's talking. If thats too personal for you - then lose my number. I will not text you again."
And his response?? "I just explained myself and you freak out!!"
I WAS pissed that he slid right over my emotional part. But in looking back, he never really answers any of my questions.
Now its 5 days and I'm second guessing how I ended things. I just couldn't keep doing this texting, so had to put an end to it.
Remember - we're not little young kids. I'm trying to get through to a 60+ man. I just believe if you really care, you will call the person to discuss things. Did I go about this all wrong? As you can see, I still have feelings. I can't figure out how he doesn't feel the same. Thank you all for reading my book here. I'm so mixed up and really feeling depressed.
I've been dating and actually had 3 guys who were really interested in me. I went out with them 2 times.. but I told all 3 I wasn't feeling a romantic connection so I didn't want to continue dating them. They were awesome men. Just no chemistry.
Thank you for any input. 
7 comments posted: Tuesday, April 30th, 2024
Typical reply for a narcissist. Please read both posts - I need opinions..
If you read my first post - I was waiting for many weeks now to get my things back. I said I wanted the things before Easter. I left a voicemail the other night (I would have spoken to him directly but he sent me to vmail). I simply said I wanted my items returned and didn't understand WHY he was ignoring them. My ending was "lets just get this over with..
The next morning I get a text from him - "Remember you wanted this breakup, not me".... No mention of how to return my things.
He's not man enough to pick up the phone and call - just a snarky comment. I was going to text something, but don't know what.
He's just proven to me again that he can't be humble and talk from his heart.
16 comments posted: Saturday, March 30th, 2024
20 years later still getting played
I thought I was much smarter in my60s and had learned about narcissists from my ex. Hadn’t had a “relationship” in 16 years and finally took the plunge a year ago.. met onine. Similar backgrounds. He lived an hour from,e so we took turns every weekend going to each others homes. As time went on I was seeing red flags that he wanted everything his way, and told him I wanted to start doing ore things than just sit around and watch tv. Even though he said he was semi-retired, the part time work began to become more than a full t8me job. He said he needed money , but all he was doing with the money was spending it on things for himself. Fancy tires for his truck ( at age 68); expensive fishing trips etc. when I asked if we could just plan a weekend to get away, he pacified me but then booked a fishing trip for himself instead.
He always would tell me stories about how he flirted with different young girls when he was working his part-time jobs, looking to get a rise out of me. He also would tell me I was lucky to have him, and that he was a good catch. He had only been marred 10 years, and had dated tons of women while single and got pleasure out of reliving his single days, to show me how he was such a stud..
Lol
He wasn’t changing his work schedule for me, but managed to shorten his work hours for hunting, fishing, etc. I to.d hi I wasn’t happy and I was done in December. He promised me everything would change so I went along with it.. I called it quits again 3 weeks ago.. he said he wasn’t going to change. He stormed out of my house and went home. Next day I texted I wanted to meet and get my stuff left at his house.. he replied he would, but when he had time..
Now 3 weeks later he doesn’t respond to my texts. I’m hurt that he never would compromise for me, yet he always said how much he loved me and wanted a future together. and I want my things. We’re not little kids - how can he act this way? I’m wondering if he had another person waiting in the wings if I kept giving him a hard time about working so much. So why do I miss this narcissist so much?
I’m reliving my marriage from 20 years ago.
3 comments posted: Thursday, March 28th, 2024
20 years later still getting played
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0 comment posted: Thursday, March 28th, 2024
Haven’t been in a relationship for 15 years and I feel like a virgin
I’m in my 60’s. I’ve been divorced 15 years, dated lots of guys, but never felt like I wanted a relationship with any of them. So, I haven’t had sex since I was married. I need to feel some kind of spark, or attraction , to get to that point. I know it’s really old school, but that’s how I’ve always been. Recently I started seeing someone near my age, and I do like him. We get along so well, talk very often, but he lives about an hour away, so we’ve only gone on 3 dates. He has gotten serious about me, and doesn’t hide his feelings. It’s really great and I hope I can return those feelings in time, but it hasn’t happened yet. I sort of feel like I’m holding back because I’m a little nervous about moving forward and things becoming sexual.
I was married to a cheater, and I’ve heard many horror stories about how many women he was with. I don’t know how adults handle this kind of situation. Do you insist on condoms, go get tested and compare notes - what do people do now? Is this something that could help me develop more feelings for him?
He really is great in every way but I’m so indecisive. Am I making this a bigger deal than it should be?
I need some advice….
10 comments posted: Wednesday, March 22nd, 2023
Men and their ponytails
I got a message from a man on a dating site. His profile was nice (ex NYPD), in his late 60's, and photos were current and he looked put together.
We emailed a few times and then we talked on the phone. He was very chatty, and was talking about how he stays fit and his photos are current. Then he mentions - "the only thing you don't see in the photos is my ponytail"!! I honestly thought he was kidding and said "you're kidding, right"? He said no - he had been undercover for many years before he retired and grew his hair long for work, and likes it that way. He has a full head of hair on top and said when he takes it out of the ponytail, it looks like a mullet... then he asks what I think about men with a ponytail, and I was honest and said - "I really don't like them".... he continued talking and wants to meet sometime soon.
Funny thing was he mentioned being "picky" about women - that he didn't care for women with tattoos that show. He said - its a turn off.
I guess that's how I think about him - the ponytail is a turn off. Should I just forget about this one altogether? I doubt he would ever cut his hair, and I know what I don't like - and a mullet is something I really hate.
What do you all think?
16 comments posted: Monday, September 7th, 2020
Can a Man Come On Too Strong?
I recently got a message on a dating site from a man who lives in my town. Right away he was eager to meet and sent me his phone number in the first email. Also wanted to meet even before I replied. After a few emails I called him. He was super excited to hear from me since we knew the same people, etc.
From that day on the texts started. Every morning “hello sweetie”, want to meet somewhere today? More texts and phone calls during the day. Even though I didn’t respond, he still sent texts. I spoke with him again, and we had many acquaintances in common. Finally I agreed to meet him at an outside restaurant last week. The minute I got out of the car he was so happy to meet me, telling I looked wonderful, and saying again “I couldn’t wait to meet you “.. he must have said at least 5 times that night how excited he was that we finally met. Then he said eagerly “please get me off that dating site”.
by the end of the evening he was already wanting to make plans to continue the date THAT night, saying “where can we go now”? He had already tried holding my hand across the table, holding my hand walking back to the car, and a small kiss good night. He wanted more kisses but I drew back at that point. This was just all too much for me on a first date, and our first meeting..
He has blown up my phone since then wanting to make more plans. I answered 1 text saying maybe Wednesday (tonight) would work. So I’m wondering if his “super interest” is turning me off? He was a nice guy, but no romantic connection on my part. I know he is looking for a relationship quickly and because we live so close he feels it’s perfect.
Can his super intensity be causing me to not even want a second date?
43 comments posted: Wednesday, August 26th, 2020
background check
Does anyone have access to background records?
I'm dating someone new and wonder if there is some events in his past that I should be aware of?
Thank you.
4 comments posted: Thursday, November 7th, 2019
Zeros 000-000-000 on verizon
What does it mean when your Verizon bill shows all zeros for calls or texts?
I called Verizon and they said it's from a blocked number. But that doesn't make sense -- how would you even be able,to text a blocked number?
1 comment posted: Tuesday, July 25th, 2017
