Old member…just came to say hi

Just wanted to pop in with an update, would like to offer hope and encouragement to all.

I (female) joined this group in December 2007 as a Wayward Spouse having just been confronted by the Betrayed Spouse.

I was desperate, remorseful, scared, and entertaining suicidal thoughts. This group welcomed me with support, positive regard, empathy, and tough love when I needed it. The concern from both WS’s and BS’s changed my life immediately.

For months after my infidelity was revealed, I was feverishly committed to doing whatever it took to help my BS heal and consider reconciliation, even though he had already left. (Since we had a child together, we still maintained communication.)

During those months, I let him humiliate me both in public and in private, as a way to prove to him that I was willing to own everything I had done. But my transparency and willingness to accept my punishments only seemed to fuel him more.

Until the day I learned the truth. The truth that he’d been deceiving me. The truth that he’d been having an affair with another man all along. Had likely been meeting up with men for years.

That’s when I logged in again and shared with my fellow SI friends that not only did I need recovery as a Wayward Spouse, but also as a Betrayed Spouse. And you all came through for me epically…again and again.

Thanks to the help of this group, personal therapy, the support of family and friends, and (most of all) my faith in God, I was able to shed that "WS" scarlet letter I forced myself to wear for years, and now I am fully recovered.

As of today, I have been blissfully married for almost fourteen years to the man of my dreams (another former BS). I was absolutely upfront and honest with him about my past from the beginning, and he has never viewed me as anything less than a loving and imperfect human being. He had taken the long road to recovery, as well, and we both share that appreciation for the gift of survival. We have a beautiful blended family that we will never take for granted.

I pray that each of you, whatever has happened, maintains the strength and courage to keep going…keep fighting for the life you deserve. There is always hope for a better future.

And if you are looking for people who will make the journey easier, you have come to the right place here.

Thank you, my Surviving Infidelity family!

9 comments posted: Tuesday, July 9th, 2024