Me: now 43 BH
Her: now 42 WW
D-Day 1 - On honeymoon (OG1)
D-Day 2 - late 2006 (OG2)
D-Day 3.1 - mid 2007 (OG3 No.1)
D-Day 3.2 - Feb 20? 2008 (OG 3 No.2)
D-Day 3.3 - Jun 1 2008 (OG 3 No.3)
D-Day 4 - 27 Apr 2024 (OG 4)
Back after 15 years
Hi
I posted many years ago after my wife had a series of EA with internet "friends". Nothing physical that I know of. We went to counselling and somehow reconciled.
I now have 3 kids to add to the drama. We now own a house. We are both well paid professionals.
I was severely depressed through 2008-2010 and required antidepressants. I gained about 30 kg of weight. Sex happened but only for kids. But I felt we were on the same page again.
During 2021 my wife became quite distant again. I suspected something was up. She kept talking about man from the radio show she liked. They talked a lot. She then told me in 2022 that he had moved away. I have this man's details and his wife's details but haven't reached out to them yet.
In March 2024 she left her laptop open. I haven't snooped for years but I'd been unhappy for the last couple of years so I gave into the urge. I found pictures of the above guy naked dated from around that time. Also some of her own selfies.
She was then chatting on WhatsApp a lot with a number from overseas.
I eventually spiralled and confronted her on the 27th of April. She was texting the 3rd EAP from 2008. "Only for the last few weeks" and only because she "felt sorry for him" as he'd been divorced and was super obese. She apologised and said she understood how hurt it must make me and she showed me their texts immediately. Nothing sus. She went no contact.
I was spiralling again and brought up that I knew about the 4th EAP the next day. We then talked through it (only some texts and photos). It had ended years ago. I didn't ask to see phone contacts. Since then we've been having heaps of sex - more than the last 3 years in the last 3 weeks.
I know what my WW is like and I know there was more to it. I've been trying to get access to some old phones from that time period with no luck.
Today I found a silicone penis vibrator in a different clothes drawer. One that you can make out of a mold for your own penis. It's not mine obviously. It makes me suspect there was more to the 2021 affair.
Now I'm crying and sad and angry and raging and I don't even now anymore. It could even be someone else's penis.
Should I confront her when she gets home in 60 minutes? Or gather more evidence? Contact the AP/other betrayed person?
66 comments posted: Thursday, May 30th, 2024
