Me BS - 40 WH 42 1 child - 9y married 5 yrs, together 7 DD1 midmarch 09 DD2 early june 09 some more DD's of course - cannot bother to list Status: Divorced Oct 2011 Him: not with OW anymore. She grew up and ditched him..

Dating / Grey Zone questions

Hi all! Have not posted for years here but feel like I need to post re dating. Usually when I post things are going terribly wrong and you guys are awesome to direct my head in the right direction - so thank you in advance !!

There is this guy - let’s call him B. I met him soon after my life went in pieces (whopping 10 years ago). It did not work out. Then over the years we have tried quite a few more times - clearly not successful. On a flip side I know feel I know him very well and understand some of the issues which i did not understand at the time…

We reconnected in Summer. He helped me moved house. Got me on the fitness programme (I had put on some weight), helped with quite a few other things. I have been treating and seeing him as a friend. But somehow I feel not a friend and he keeps on confusing things - like kissing me not like friends kiss. At this point he has met my friends etc etc, but I only met his friends few years ago.

He also has ocd and it’s quite severe in terms of eating so dinner or eating out with him happens very rarely. So we talk a lot but we don’t meet very often.. he lives with his parents .. and my mum is with me so for having sex we don’t even have the place right now :). I do feel wanted and liked and he has done quite a few things for me (which are amazing for me - lost 15kg under his guidance which alone is gold worth). And other equally good things.

But as I am confused on terms of what we are now… I have gone out to few dates with another guy.

And this guy so far is everything anyone could ever want from a man - ok he treats me exactly how I want to be treated - almost like it’s too good to be true.

Amazing restaurants, bookings in advance, sending me flowers regularly. Telling me he dates one girl at the time and is falling for me. Planning trip to Paris to stay on cheval de blanc hotel just because I mentioned in passing I want to try it.. so you get the picture..

My heart is with B. But at this point I am ok to go with the other guy if we are just friends with B.. we are so close with B though I feel he knows my soul and he has been there for me quite a bit..

I am starting to feel bad for juggling these options.. (not sleeping with any of them atm - but expect that to change soon)…

So what do I do is the million dollar question…

3 comments posted: Saturday, January 29th, 2022

Money gifted to a child

I have posted about my ex previously. We are divorced long time ago. He is a litigious type and had taken me to the court before.

I have been thinking of depositing some money with my brother to invest in the name of my daughter. Like to buy property in her name and redevelop etc. The money and the outcome would remain dd’s. Basically he would grow the investment for her over the years and it would be fully hers to have some help to start the life..

Now the question. Am I running a risk ex Legally claiming any of this As his (as her father not part of divorce) before she reaches 18? Yeah unfortunately he is just that kind of person capable Of this kind of stuff

3 comments posted: Sunday, November 15th, 2020

Divorced long time ago.. x is a gift which keeps on giving

Hi everyone!

I was here long time ago- not sure if anyone remembers my story...

We have been divorced for just below 10 years. X took me to court suing for more money etc few years later.. he got awarded some lump sum. Which I paid. But he was also requested to pay child support + 50% of school fees.

He had some financial difficulties last year. So I lent him little money and he did not pay child support for 6 months. When I asked when he will pay back - he said I need to prove I need the money and as I don’t (I do btw) he is not going to pay..

Surprise surprise he has financial difficulties again. So I am not tempted to help him (he still feels entitled like I owe him 😱). So his choices is to go back to his home country Canada (Move in with his dad) or or risk bankruptcy proceedings (which will ruin any chances of him getting a job in the industry) . He can look for a job in London’s whilst in Canada as all interviews these days are online anyways./

He is ‘asking’/ demanding for help and my views.. I am tempted to suggest he moves back to Canada. But suspect he will say I only say this because I want him away from dd.

Anyways.. SI always gives good advice .. please tell me your views..

On a different note I need to position myself for living without child support + paying all school fees.. which means I need higher paying job.. but those are tomorrow’s problems and I will fix them.:

In the mean time.. what to do with x...

[This message edited by MelisssaZZZ at 1:44 PM, November 2nd (Monday)]

20 comments posted: Monday, November 2nd, 2020