Latest Day two weeks ago
Me 66 , H 67. He's a serial cheater (found out by accident in 2003, long story) Separated. Mom died in 2005. I went to IC for years. MC was pointless but H did the "pick me dance", children were a mess, mom, brother and sister died and before I know it its 2022. I find Classmates messages to deb on my Mac, messages, about sex, loving each other, making plans, bad mouthing me. The usual stuff. I felt PTSD sick for weeks, came back to empty this house so I can sell it. Want my money. Two weeks ago, I am on my Mac and ofcouse I find evidence that the affair with deb has been going on for at over a year, perhaps 2019. ( I also found the most disgusting porn. ) They were making plans while I was supposed to be in recovery room but surgery was postponed. They were pissed they couldn't talk. I was so sick, had to go to the ER for infection treatment. So surgery postponed. Now scheduled for the breast surgery 9/6. Great timing. Finding out deb and bob were involved in many ways and for much longer than i thought (H says "I don't remember. It wasn't important, blah, blah) Another DDay, all too familiar PTSD like symptoms again. Anyway, I'm doing NC as well as I can. H won't leave the house. I am beginning to be worn down by h's narcissist crap. I need to keep calm, carry on, sell this house & move near my daughters, ( at their request). Any words of advice, wisdom, experience, regarding NC while in the same house, PTSD like trauma I'm feeling ( never really got over it), how to keep my eye on the prize which is sell and give myself options while becoming a Grandma!
1 comment posted: Sunday, August 14th, 2022
Just found out WH latest affair has been going on since 2019
I found out WH's latest affair has been going on since 2019. Originally Found evidence of affair on my computer but he deleted or hid messages he and she exchanged so I only have 4 months of Classmates messages.Dug a little deeper and found evidence that this began a long time ago. Finding out it's been going on for so long has re-traumatized me. Daughters knew something was going on. He denied it. Ofcourse. I'm in bad shape again. Originally, Found out about this latest affair 6/30/22.This week, I Found out it's been going on since 2019, that they have "always loved each other" and are planning a future. Triggered, traumatized and DONE. How do I navigate this? I'm having breast surgery, we live in the same house which has to be sold and I just found out recently I am going to have a grand baby. So sick of this.
4 comments posted: Thursday, August 11th, 2022
BS accidentally discovered H's one year affair 3 weeks ago. 45 year marriage.Me-66,H-67.
I'm overwhelmed that this is happening yet again. H is a serial cheater. I am facing breast surgery in early September. Have done the 180. Have gotten some of the correspondence between H and "love of his life." Correspondence is very detailed and descriptive. They communicated in private on Classmates and other sites. Of course, I am the cheater, I am miserable...it's all my fault that he cheats! OW's husband doesn't know. He deserves to know IMO. Should I tell him and how? Any thoughts would be appreciated. Struggling here. Two adult daughters wondering what's wrong with mom. Both trying to start families. God help me.
14 comments posted: Friday, July 29th, 2022
