Memories, memories!
Hi!
I've seen some shows coming from Chicago lately. 
One of the favorite clips I saw was some people visiting the sights and especially Wrigley Field. It brought back beautiful and fun, fond memories of a g2g with a great group of SI friends! What better way to accomplish a Bucket List item than with some of you??
1 comment posted: Wednesday, August 21st, 2024
Anyone have experience with Emdr with Pulsators?
0 comment posted: Saturday, December 30th, 2023
xpos on wife #2
xpos is about to M for the 2nd time since DDay. W #1 died and the next one was already in the house, by her own admission. Guess this would really be wife #3.
This one is a doozy, lacks social skills and sadly believes she and I should be friends, forcing herself on my presence! I tried to get away from her at an event and she kept coming around me and touching me, all the while blabbing endlessly as if we were old pals. 
Says she could NEVER be in the same room as her ex - well, does she think I wanted to be around MY ex? Definitely NO!
And being around her was an added obstacle to my enjoyment of the event. xpos definitely does NOT want us to be "friends", because I would be forced to respond to many of her comments to correct them with the truth. I did say some things to her and she just laughed, grabbed my arm and shook it, apparently thinking I was kidding. As they left, she thanked me for "talking with her" (I didn't other than a few comments) and said we needed to "get together and talk again"! NOPE!
8 comments posted: Monday, November 20th, 2023
The new truism of my life
Hi Everyone,
I came back a couple of months ago with an update I put in General in hopes it would encourage struggling members there, but could have put it here, too. (ID 8803740)
I have been doing things xpos would never go along with because he was so controlling ( still is, I'm sure). My adult kids have told me they are proud of how I have lived life on my own, the things I have done for myself and by myself.
I found the perfect truism that represents all of that my life has been since:
"She turned her cants into cans and her dreams into plans."
6 comments posted: Sunday, September 24th, 2023
I'm doing it!
I finally have a plan to get rid of the furniture xpos demanded we buy way back when. We HAD to please him. I have always hated it because it is ugly and uncomfortable. But it was there and I have been spending on things much more desperately needed, like fixing a cellar wall and several other expensive things to keep the M house standing after xpos ignored them. 
I have jealously read posts by others on here who made their home environs "their own", knowing it made them feel better, while I looked around and hated what I saw and had to use.
Still can't do it all, but the biggest and most hated items will disappear.... well, in a couple of months that is... given the current backlog of it on order. And, most importantly, it will improve my state of mind! And comfort.
And I did something xpos refused to ever do; I went in with an open mind, only looking for comfort and fit, and let the sales people who are designers help me pick the exact pieces and some accessories. It felt so good and I feel so positive about how it will look! I'm sure these two months will fly by!
8 comments posted: Monday, July 26th, 2021
Am I a bad person? Anyone else do this? Long
xpos pulled every dirty trick he could think of during the D. He was angry that I wanted the house (on the sound advice of my financial adviser), because he wanted his half of the sale in hand to spend on the slut and their wedding. He was even angrier when he saw that I ended up with some of his money even after giving him half of the house's value. So angry that he kept taking me to court for money (didn't get any).
He is very controlling and even tried to control the judge's orders; was in contempt of court for 6 months on one order, then told the judge the date he would come to the house to collect his belongings - a different date and time from the judge's order.
When he got his things (on the day and time the judge ordered), he refused to do anything about a bunch of big things that were less than perfect or downright broken. Told me "You wanted the house, deal with it".
D was years ago. I am finally getting through old papers and finding ones that I would prefer to shred - a pile of them things of his. Some may have importance to him, but I am still inclined to shred. I do not want to see him nor have anyone else go between, nor spend to have them sent.
He had told several people (that I know of) that he had almost left two years earlier. I learned he had a girlfriend then, too. Soooo, my thought is that anything he left goes with what he said I need to "deal with" since he had known he planned to leave for those two years, so had lots of time to gather anything he valued.
I have sold most of the things he left. I still have several boxes of a collection he had yet to sell. Only other things are those papers.
Would shredding them (in view of his actions and words) make me as bad as him? What would -- or did -- you do?
21 comments posted: Wednesday, May 5th, 2021
Becoming the Narcissist’s Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard
Becoming the Narcissist’s Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself by Shahida Arabi. Has anyone read this?
I happened upon this on the Kindle app, I don't really know how except maybe a "suggestion" from an old search? But I read the "sample" part and HOLY COW!! She was in this kind of relationship and has done a lot in relation to NPD: blogs, run online groups like SI, IRL groups, and has degrees in psychology and REALLY gets it.
I only read the intro pages I could in the sample, but intend to get it. The descriptions of instances of abuse at their hands brought back things I hadn't thought of since they happened. She described the differences - and similarities - between NPD, Sociopathy and Psychopathy in that brief view of the book (empathy, mostly).
The real skinny on how to become the nightmare is within the chapters I couldn't get to, but I can't wait to find out what she says about it.
I was abused in every way but physically (except once early on) as described in it, by xpos for several decades and want to be sure I can recognize the traits and actions if I run into another. Doesn't matter if it is in a possible future relationship or just people I meet or already know. I do already recognize it in one relative from what I experienced in xpos. Definitely good information to have whenever. Knowledge is power, and potentially freedom from abuse.
Just wondering if anyone who notices this has read it and has anything to offer from the rest of the book. And thought it might be of interest to others who know narcs or wonder about them.
2 comments posted: Wednesday, March 7th, 2018
Kinda Gross! But funny... (SI will 'get it')
I posted in another forum about hoeing out the M home lately. There is a mountain of paper to get through.
I pulled a small box of cards I had received off another box that had papers I needed to sort and took the bigger box to the living room and got started. Later that day I noticed that the coffee table where I placed the box, the chairs where I sorted papers and where I shredded the personal ones, the path to the recycle bin and the pathways in between as well as the area rug were.... sparkly! 
In the evening when getting ready for bed, I noticed my clothes, even on the inside were..... sparkly! The next day I lifted the lid on the toilet and the saw something in the water that was,..... sparkly!
OK, SI, I bet you have already figured out that the small box of cards on top contained Christmas cards from the SI exchange. Made me smile at the memory. Thank you all for that.
28 comments posted: Sunday, September 24th, 2017
Unicorn Farts for sale! Just in time for a special someone!
Saw this "best seller" on the internet. Anyone get it or see them in stores? Description says it is a bag of cotton candy, or as it is known in OZ, "Fairy Floss". 
4 comments posted: Thursday, December 8th, 2016
Watched Olive Kitteridge and it made me think of Sazzy...
...when I watched the credits. There was an actor named Ken Cheeseman (Had to run it back to check). Made me think of his 'brother'! Sorry Sazzy. The Devil made me do it!!
2 comments posted: Saturday, January 9th, 2016
April Fools!
I thought we had a sudden influx of members I had never heard of!! Good one!
( can't wait to see who I am!!!) 
40 comments posted: Wednesday, April 1st, 2015
Mod Please
I have a question for you, but have not had success at posting pictures of delicious food and drink to entice you, so I guess I have to rely on your good graces to respond...... 
1 comment posted: Saturday, March 14th, 2015
Stacked threads right here in F&G
I'm an idiot
The debate is over.....
(Sorry Dr. PJ) 
1 comment posted: Thursday, October 23rd, 2014
Anyone in the Boston area? Maybe a quick, last-minute G2G?
I just found out that I will be in the Boston area next weekend (24-26) and hope maybe a Boston area SIer or two might be available to meet? Please PM if you are interested and maybe we can make the timing work?
6 comments posted: Friday, October 17th, 2014
