How would you handle this?

I've been with.my bf going on 4 years he and I have a child together. Recently he quit all his meds cold turkey and started to drink heavily.
Things came to a head last Sunday while he was drinking he made comments about how the home situation is f'd up.
He said a lot of things to me about the parenting of my children, my character and how I'm not a taking care of the animals and that I'm using him for his money.
I thought we worked through it. After a long discussion.
I told him how he see himself as a victim. It's not as bad as he's making it out to be, and he needs to get back on the medication, stop drinking.
Well last night I was on reddit and found a post he made. Holy crap. He made me out to be a monster. I sound like a crazy person. Most of the information in the post is incorrect. It paints him as a victim and myself as an abuser.
I don't get it. I do everything for this man. I take him anywhere he needs to go. He gets to stressed I drive him to his families house and pick him up. I clean up the house. Do all the laundry minus his. Try to keep my kids quiet so he doesn't get triggered. I make bottles daily for the baby so he doesn't have to., I've bought all her clothes, formula, diapers, wipes, toys, crib, swing, pack n play and stroller. Once I get home from working all day I take over care of her. The only thing he does is dinner and groceries. We moved in together I asked him if he was will to pay half of the bills which he agreed to. I haven't even asked for him to pay more since all the bills went up. I even went and got a newer vehicle so there would be a car at home he could use even though I could of used that vehicle as a trade. We went on vacation to Colorado. I told him he didn't have to pay for the month and I'd help pay for the trip. I paid for all the gas in the car, half of the hotels. And he paid half of the hotels and gor food.
He says he feels trapped like he's a hostage cause of the situation with us sharing a child. I never told him he couldn't leave. If he wants to leave I have no right to stop him. He says I'm abusive toward my son. I spanked him with a belt once. That kid was in full blown destruction mode. He was destroying everything he got his hands on and started to go after his sister, So I gave him a slap on the butt. That kids stopped right away. I felt so bad afterwards.
He says I don't take care of my cats. I have 2 16 lbs of cat food on hand and 5 25 lbs of litter.
He says that I forced him to leave his program. He told me he left because he was getting messed with by the staff. I told him he should stay but he told me No.
There is more. But you get the just of it.
I've down all I can for him in every way. Placed camping trips this summer paid for them. Except maybe food for maybe 3 of them.
He says in the post I didn't have food in the house. I did. It was either freezer or in my cabinet. You just had to make it or microwave it.

I can't exactly bring me finding the post up to him because he has no idea that I know he wrote it and I don't want to start a fight. I don't want to think I went looking for it. I didn't. I read the post and was like that sounds a lot like the situation going on. I didn't even know his reddit user name. I found out the name cause he had a different reddit page open with his username on it and searched the username and that came up.

I know he wrote that post when he was in a maniac stage and not thinking straight, but I feel that's what really thinks of me. I love this dude a lot. We weren't supposed to have a baby I was told if I got pregnant I wouldn't be able to carry to fullterm and if I did make it full term I have a big chance of her being stillborn and me having complications after birth.
I just think he's with me just because of our daughter. I don't think he ever loved me. I was just his scapegoat for the mistakes he made.
I don't know what to do. This is killing me that someone who said the loved me would say such hurtful things about me.

2 comments posted: Sunday, September 10th, 2023