11 years
It was 11 years ago today that I found out. I divorced him and haven’t felt the pain of him in a long time. The kids are happy, I am happy, we are doing well in life. It does get better. Today is just a day now. The only reason I remembered was because I had a social media memory pop up that reminded me that I had posted something about it that day. It was also a Sunday. I don’t think I would be nearly as OK if I stayed with him.
6 comments posted: Sunday, December 1st, 2024
Ghosts
It’s that time of year. As someone that definitely believes in the paranormal and has seen a couple of things, what are your ghost/paranormal stories? I grew up in an old farmhouse, and we all felt the presence of something. Long story short an old man had died in it before my parents owned it. When I was a teenager, I was walking down the hallway at night and stopped for a second for some reason and there it appeared. Never saw it again, never even really felt it again. It’s like I scared it off or made it decide to meander on. Siblings all said that they had also felt the presence throughout the decades prior to my experience (I was the youngest). That old house was replaced with a new one on the same property not long after that.
1 comment posted: Sunday, September 22nd, 2024
Hot flash question (sorry guys)
In my upper 40s now and trying to figure out when the change will actually occur. I had a hysterectomy a few years ago due to fibroids so I don’t really know where I am at because I obviously don’t bleed anymore. I did keep the ovaries, hence natural menopause to be determined. The only thing I am noticing is, I do get warm here and there, but it is nothing like what I’ve seen with my sisters. They would just turn red head to toe for a couple of minutes. I just noticed I am warmer at times and it might last 20 minutes then I’m fine. This is a new development but it’s been 90° so who knows. I’m trying to figure out if that’s a genuine Hotflash or if I am crazy? I also cry a lot more lately, but that’s just life. I don’t really want to do a hormone test because in all honesty, since the hysterectomy, I don’t need to worry about whether a period is coming or not. I also don’t want hormone replacement if I can avoid it. My mother had breast cancer, but they believe hers was more environmental, but none the last, just being cautious about replacement. Nobody else has had any occurrences, no genetic link at this point they think but still. What else should I watch for?
11 comments posted: Wednesday, August 7th, 2024
Get around referral
I’ve posted in the past about my ANA being elevated and my joint pain and my doctor lack of wanting to send me on. I gained a second and third opinion from other local doctors. Got a rheumatologist who said basically wait and see as other tests did not line up with a definite diagnosis. I had a guess diagnosis based on symptoms only but I am gaining more symptoms now and my rheumatologist left and now they want an another referral from my doctor, who is also playing the waiting game again. How do I just call a rheumatologist and go completely around this bullshit because I’m sick of it? Advocating for myself is just getting me looks of crazy so I’m trying to figure out another route that can just get answers. I don’t want drugs, I want answers. I went from elevated ANA and joint pain and feeling just crappy but no other elevated or lower bloodwork to now I rash across my face if in the sun. It is even on both cheeks and across my nose. My doctor will not refer again unless it happens consistently for another year. When I called the other one I gained other opinions from, they said they would probably do the same. What are my actual options? Last ANA was 1:780 nuclear homogeneous (the first one I had several years ago was speckled).
7 comments posted: Friday, July 12th, 2024
Midwest prayers
The storms here have been at least once or twice a week for the last month. A town 2 1/2 hours west of me was obliterated yesterday with multiple deaths. The tornado just ran right through them. My anxiety is through the roof anytime it gets cloudy anymore. This has been going on for a few years now where they seem much worse in intensity, and I have lived here my whole life. 2020 derecho was bad and massively unpredicted. They saw wind on the radar and then we got hurricane strength wind instead like a wall out of nowhere. Now it’s like constant where we don’t get normal rain, we always have to have heavy wind with it, It seems. Anyhow, anybody else feeling this way? I know I’m not the only one in this general vicinity.
12 comments posted: Thursday, May 23rd, 2024
Ten years
So I found out ten years ago next weekend (Dec.1). It seems so long ago yet I feel like I’m in an entirely better place now than even before then. I’m just noting how odd it feels to have that time pass and see how much you have changed. I grew, I got stronger, and I definitely became jaded. Overall, I’m better and so much healthier now. If you are fairly new to this shit show, keep going.
5 comments posted: Sunday, November 26th, 2023
Prayers appreciated
For the last two years, we have buried many family members. The total today is 5 since March 2022. It will be 6 this week. I’m just kind of mentally over it. These are a niece, a nephew, mom, aunts/uncles. I could just use maybe some prayers for a better couple of years. Mentally I’m done.
14 comments posted: Saturday, November 11th, 2023
Grandma got attitude
So my granddaughter copies my daughter quite well. She is brutally smart and picks up on everything. I was watching her and asked her to go pick something up. She looked at me, rolled her eyes, and said "whatever"…..guys, she’s 2!
I was in complete disbelief, and I thought "Yep, you are your mom" so I decided that mom gets to handle the attitude. She’s usually a very good two year-old so I was in complete disbelief. FYI. I reminded my daughter to start watching her mouth in typical grandma fashion, and I could hear my own mother coming right on through. We really do turn into our own parents. A two-year-old is turning into my child and I am turning into my mother.
4 comments posted: Wednesday, November 1st, 2023
Need opinions
First, this has nothing to do with me, but a friend of mine. Her husband is not someone that I consider a nice person and I have a worried about her for years.
Numerous things have happened, but the most recent one is this scenario: she has been asking about getting her basement re-floored. This is because it is old carpet and she has serious allergies and she is noticing she has a sore throat every time she is near it. Every time she has ever tried to get his assistance with anything he throws a big fit and so on and so forth. When she brought this up, he said he wants no part of it. She bought the flooring and she asked for his help in tearing it up and he left and told her this is her problem. Mind you if she hires somebody, he gets mad about that so she’s avoiding that argument. We are going to help her. Then he’ll be mad that she didn’t wait for him. The last project she had him do took him five years and it was reflooring a hallway… One fucking hallway! This is typical behavior for him whenever she needs anything done, and his excuse is always that nobody helps him. What he means is nobody will help him soup up a car or build a dream shed but her health concerns are supposed to be equal to that (wants versus needs). I keep telling her she is being abused in a way, and she does not think that is true. I almost wonder about infidelity, which is why I’m posting this in general and not off topic. Anyhow, am I wrong to express my concerns that I think he’s a piece of garbage? She only asks for help with things like this when it is health related.
7 comments posted: Monday, October 23rd, 2023
Clean eating - no avocado (allergic)
I am on a clean eating lifestyle now due to my autoimmune. I need good recipes that do NOT involve avocado as it closes my throat. Does anyone have any they would like to share? Pecans are also a no-no as they bug my throat, too. Thanks!
11 comments posted: Tuesday, October 10th, 2023
Fires in Canada
How is everyone holding up in Canada from the fires? We are in the Midwest and suffering because the air just sucks because of it. I cannot imagine what everybody up north is going through.
13 comments posted: Tuesday, June 27th, 2023
Lost my momma
She passed today. You are never ready. I’m in my 40’s and not ready. This sucks.
24 comments posted: Saturday, April 22nd, 2023
Symptoms
I’ve shared in the past different symptoms of something autoimmune/maybe RA. My doctor does not refer me to a rheumatologist. My insurance insists on the referral. I’ve had elevated ANA positive speckled. I am achy and every joint throbs off and on. Now I have pins and needles and weakness in all four limbs. I woke up last night with numbness even on my cheeks. My doctor just wants x-rays and says I have degenerative disc and degenerative joint diseases. I don’t doubt that but I’m 47 and feel like I should not hurt this much. I’m an exerciser and healthy eater. What the hell do I do and what the hell is this? I’m contemplating an ER visit to try to go around my doctor. I love my doctor otherwise and I live in a fairly rural area, so I’m driving 40 min to switch. I will if I need to but I need help.
20 comments posted: Monday, April 3rd, 2023
Autoimmune and freaky symptoms
I’ve had bloodwork show something is up. This has been for the last few years. Unfortunately, my doctor said until I was more symptomatic, it was hard to nail it down. I’ve been really thinking Rheumatoid arthritis but I am all over the place. Every joint my body aches at different times. The last few days, all of my joints hurt but I am also muscle achy and tingly in my arms and legs. I’ve had Chiro a long time, massage twice a mouth, laser therapy on my hip recently and eat clean. My doctor sent me to the rheumatologist and the rheumatologist seems to brush me off as we’ll know more when we know more. I’m sad, done, and just need advice. Has anyone got any clue what all of this means (why my symptoms are what they are) and how to get the medical peeps to listen or look into it more? Frankly, I’m pissed.
16 comments posted: Sunday, October 30th, 2022
Recipes
We should have a recipe exchange group. Or is there one and I am just unaware of it?
16 comments posted: Tuesday, October 11th, 2022
Bursitis in the hip
Seriously I’m falling apart. I have some autoimmune illness that has crept up in the last few years and we think it could probably be rheumatoid arthritis. My joints hurt. Right now, it is hip bursitis. I cannot get comfortable. I sleep with my legs spread way out, sorry about the mental image. I babystep up steps and it hurts. What can help? I stretch. I soak. I don’t know.
12 comments posted: Tuesday, September 20th, 2022
Self employment
I have contracted with my position for quite a few years. I have an opportunity to start my own full time business. I have weighed everything out: good, bad, and ugly. I was specifically asked to do this by other colleagues as a need exists. My field tends to see people branch out on their own frequently and successfully. I’ve had a side business for a long time. It does great. I’ll keep that, too. Guys, I am scared shitless but I feel like I am supposed to do this. Would you do it? How do I get the nerves to go away? I am set up fairly well to be able to afford several months until I’m actually making some money. Not to mention I could always go back to contracting with what I do now worst case. Is it crazy? When do you just do it? Like I said, I have the side business but I have always had the security of my main job.
5 comments posted: Sunday, June 26th, 2022
Kid friendly recipes
I have one giving me a run for my money. He’s picky. Some of it is food sensitivity related (can’t handle dairy, avocados, tomatoes, melons, potatoes, kiwi, chestnuts, papaya, bananas, apples, and celery). He breaks out and gets ill on those. That still leaves many other food options, but I’m trying to figure out some different recipes that would maybe be fun and kid friendly yet do not involve these products. I feel like I make the same things over and over and over. I don’t know if this is the right place for that but does anybody have any good ones they want to share?
7 comments posted: Thursday, May 12th, 2022
So after a few years…
Guy is moving in with us. We live close and have essentially been sharing homes for quite some time. I had wanted to take it super slow and have done so. I also still don’t want to get married. I don’t think that part will change. That part is broken. He’s still patient about that and does not pressure me. I’m excited and scared to death. Is that even normal? I second guess everything now after the crap I went through. I am ready for living together, he’s a good man. It’s right and relaxing. I am just unsure if I know what I’m doing in life.
8 comments posted: Sunday, November 28th, 2021
I am now "that person"
The person who goes so slow in her relationship that I get questioned by friends "what's wrong with him, he seems perfect"....yeah, he pretty much is a gem, but I don't want to rush or even speedwalk. I'm still with the same gentleman that is friends with my brother that I've known since I was old enough to ride a bicycle. He's still calm, wonderful, leaves his phone not locked and randomly wherever it drops, his computer is open, and he's great with my kids. Ex is still ex 
Is something wrong with me that I don't feel the need to move forward quicker than we are moving? Guy says my pace is fine, he gets it. No pressure, just us being us. We are together basically every night. He keeps his place, but I think only his adult child has slept there since.....I don't know when. He said he will sell when I say I am keeping him. Until that day, we chug along. Why am I terrified to actually take a bigger leap?
[This message edited by deena04 at 6:23 PM, February 3rd (Wednesday)]
18 comments posted: Wednesday, February 3rd, 2021
The love question
So I am still seeing the wonderful guy that I have been with for well over a year now. Due to the experiences I had with the ex, I’m taking things slowly. We live close, but not in the same house. We spend a great deal of time together and get along great with each other and the kids. He really is a calm, wonderful gem. How do I know if I’m going too slow? He says he loves me and completely understands what I have been through as he went through the same thing with his ex several years earlier. However, I still have earth shattering fears of what if this...what if that...! Like I said, I am going slow and really paying attention to what I see and hear, which all line up wonderfully. Is it that I just might not be that person to ever go further again? Is it OK to go a lot slower and be cynical? I do not want to ruin a good thing down the road if he gets tired of waiting, but he insists that he is OK and he thinks that we are doing well. I do, too. I just don’t want to blow it. I feel so much better and at ease with him. I’m just nervous about my own ability to pick one.
11 comments posted: Sunday, April 12th, 2020
