D-Day Volume 2

So it is about 8 years post initial d-day of my wife's infidelity. And I feel like history is repeating itself.

8 years ago I found out that she had been having multiple "relationships" of different kinds while out on business travel... Long term things, one night things, emotional things. She claimed she never had sex with these guys but I found a playlist of music she had been listening to in the middle of the night for a half hour that makes things as red handed as it gets from across the country, esp when she admitted to having the multiple year guy in her room one on one at the same time she was listening to that music.

We did years of counseling. Had two kids. I have tried to recover from the hurt although I continue to drag the pain around with me and I do feel like it affects my ability to be open and intimate emotionally. I guess I'm guarded.

A few nights ago her company had a local Christmas party. It was supposed take place mostly during the work day and end around 530pm. She should have been home around 6ish. So when it was 7:15 and almost time for the kids to start bedtime (they wanted to see mom before starting the routine) I checked her snapmap to see where she was.

I find out she has been in a completely different part of town from the party, for over an hour.

I gave her a few chances to fill me on the details of her night when she came back. Asking how her night was. One time saying "so it ran a little later than it was supposed to" .... she said, "yeah a bit"... then went back to scrolling tiktok.

Later that night I confronted her more directly ... I think I said "so are you going to tell me the real reason that you were so late getting home?" I asked in a way that didn't let on what I knew and how... so for all she could know someone messaged me about what was going on or something. and she started to spill it a tiny trickle.

Turns out she went to another bar after the party. She was there alone with a guy from work.

Of course she has excuses. Other people were supposed to come and didn't end up showing up. It was "awkward." As soon as she realized no one was coming she left ASAP.

No excuse why she didn't bother to send me a message mentioning an after party hangout while heading there. No excuse for the "leaving ASAP" actually took 60-75 minutes once I got the timeline straight. No excuse for the fact that she never texted or called anyone during that time to say... "hey are you coming to after party hangout?" No excuse for not preemptively mentioning the awkward situation to me when getting home. No excuse for continuing not to mention it when I was asking about her night and hinting at the delay.

I'm not sad this time, just tired.

22 comments posted: Tuesday, December 20th, 2022