Been a long time
I logged on to my computer today to work on a class I need to take, and SI was one of the recommendations. I know it's been over two years, and probably no one remembers me or is still here who was here when I was.
I do know that I lived for the stories of peace and a new life. My life now is so very different than the first day I came here for advice and support. I am divorced and running a household on my own, raising my three kids. Though things are not always easy, they are solid and good. I get out quite a bit to live music and basketball games, and I find joy and laughter along the way. My life is not perfect, but I feel a level of peace that I hadn't felt all those years we tried to be in R. We coparent well, and for the most part, my life is just the usual. I thought I'd pop in to say hello to anyone who may still be here and to just share in case this might help anyone who is still struggling. I never knew when I was in the midst of it all that this side would be good, but it really has been quite ok. 
Dem
9 comments posted: Friday, May 3rd, 2024
Ah, teenagers
So my son is nearly 15. Since the divorce, he’s become angry and disrespectful toward me. He’s not that way with his dad, which his dad quick to point out. His dad and girlfriend are likely moving in together soon. I don’t care much except she has four kids. We have three. I’m a little sad for my kids but I’m sure it sometimes works out.
Here’s the thing. Life with my son is not peaceful. He ignored all of my rules and boundaries. He gets in my face. He says things I never would have imagined him saying. Tonight, he brought food in my bedroom. I asked him to eat it on the floor. When he didn’t, I took it and moved it and he said, “why are you always bitching?” It’s always like this.
So I tell him he’s grounded. He says, “when dad and his girlfriend get a house, I want to move in. At least she will treat me better.” Ok. I know it was meant to hurt. But honestly, I’m trying to decide the right thing here. His dad works nights so this kid is wanting to live with his dad’s girlfriend for the most part? Do I let him go? Fight?
10 comments posted: Thursday, January 21st, 2021
I'm happy
You know, five years on SI, and I NEVER thought I would say that. I know you all know what I mean. It felt like I was forever under this black cloud. But then my divorce was final. I had peace. I watched whatever I wanted on tv and started to learn things about taking care of a house on my own.
I got on some of the apps. Boy, was that an experience. Just as I was thinking I was done for a while, I met someone. It's been two fun and glorious months. He's considering moving closer to me, and I am feeling joy at work and in my personal life.
I just wanted to hop on and say that I'd never have believed I would date and be happy, but here I am. It sure feels good to have something good to share, friends.
Dem
8 comments posted: Monday, October 26th, 2020
Interesting
So I got on a dating site to prove I hated them. Lord, do I. But then, a match and a phone call and well, this is interesting.
It's early for me. I truly am only interested in going very slow, yet I admit I really enjoyed the conversation. I'm nothing but honest but everything from all of the A's makes me not trust what guys say at all. I'm trying to take it at face value, but seriously, we all know people lie on the apps. So...I guess I wanted to say it is nice to know I can feel something again. It is NOT nice to feel triggered and to feel like I'm on display. How do I remain detached but open to this one? I don't even understand the gosh darn texting rules. It's been 25 years since I've dated. I absolutely have a life and plenty to do, so that's not even a worry. Just wondering how your first go at all of this went. This seemed so weirdly comfortable that I'm a bit stunned.
6 comments posted: Tuesday, June 16th, 2020
This week is my new beginning
My D will be final this week. I’m still grieving an intact family and having help around the house, but I feel more at ease and calmer, even being quarantined with my crazy kids.
We’ve managed to co-parent pretty well right now. The kids like going to his place, and I’m learning to enjoy the time I have. I make myself a steak and binge watch shows my kids can’t watch 
I don’t know how any of you date again. I am sure everyone says that after all of this, but honestly, I don’t go out a lot (well, when there isn’t a pandemic) and I’m not interested in an app. I figured I’d spend a long while just finding small things that make me happy.
Dem
5 comments posted: Saturday, April 11th, 2020
Today is my birthday!
I forgot to update the Birthday thread! Happy Birthday to me!
8 comments posted: Saturday, May 25th, 2019
Fart Joke Friday Fundraiser
Come one, come all! To support SI and MH, NTV has agreed to a fart joke fundraiser!
I know you have been waiting patiently for this day, and it has finally arrived. Tomorrow (Friday), you request a fart joke and NTV delivers (because you know he will never give up an opportunity to bring them up).
Here are the only rules:
1. Have fun and be silly.
2. Request a joke and make a donation of your choice to SI,
using the Donation area above the yellow menu on the
left side of your screen. This is on the honor system, so
please actually donate if you request a joke!
3. Be patient. NTV does have a life 
I, for one, cannot wait until tomorrow! Spread the word! 
38 comments posted: Thursday, March 15th, 2018
A book for Notthevictem
Spotted this beauty at Target. My son loved it, so I stopped to listen to all of the fart sounds it made. The shoppers were not nearly as amused. I think you should get this, NTV. It should provide hours of fun.
ETA: I can’t make the image appear. Gah. It’s called “Farts: A Spotters Guide”. It’s on amazon.
[This message edited by demolishedinside at 12:45 PM, January 20th (Saturday)]
6 comments posted: Saturday, January 20th, 2018
How do I delete?
So I have about ten affair books on my kindle. I don’t want anyone to see that I have them and certainly not my kids. I’m at a point where i want to delete them or at least get them off of here so no one sees them. I hate the quick gut punch every time I open my kindle. How do I get them out of here for good or off of my kindle and not an option?
3 comments posted: Saturday, December 23rd, 2017
Ntv, did you make it over?
No throwing books! I have a deep respect for them. What are you reading these days?
Anyone else have a book you love or interested in a group read? I just bought Here and Gone and I'm looking into books on being positive at work or making a career change because well, I'm overdue. My boss is killing me. I'll take any suggestions on books on careers!
19 comments posted: Monday, June 26th, 2017
My life?
What is it and can emails just be random ads?
3 comments posted: Tuesday, July 7th, 2015
