Am i going crazy ?

Hi everyone

Long story short, she cheated on me 9 years ago, tried reconcile didn't work, now she dumped me, went away for family emergency and she escalated to police and to my work place.

I an in disbelief?

Am I going crazy ? I started talking to myself loud like I'm sitting with someone. Then I go look at the mirror and talk to myself.

I'm a bit scared of thus thought must I just stop or is this is normal.

I so so scared to go for counselling I feel when I was worse maybe I didn't do it, If I do it now maybe it means I'm admitting I'm messed up and crazy it is like I'm a verifying it. I'm so scared to entertain counselling

Have anyone of you felt the same or had similar symptoms?

I feel my ex is not who she was, I don't know if I'm lucky or dumb not seeing all this cheat then her pulling this.

Thank you

5 comments posted: Friday, March 8th, 2024

Failed after 8 years

Hi everyone,

I never thought I will be back here. I tried to even find my previous posts I couldn't as it has been sometime now. Maybe it is for the best so I don't read it and relive it.

So I guess I stayed in the relationship because I was trying to find out WHY WHY WHY ME WHAT DID I DO ETC.

We were living but not happy, there were some period where we were happy but lately not especially her, she keeps crying and say she changed and I'm stuck in the past. Any arguments we have I'd bring the cheat up.

It was not fair for her and wasn't good for me. I couldn't have kids with her because I wasn't sure if the cheat won't cross my mind when I see them and how low I may feel.

I never saw her cheat coming before, I'm never physically aggressive, I went away for family emergency and she just left the house and put the key through letterbox.

9 years all together she messed me up at the beginning and at the end. She didn't even want to say bye or discuss just vanished and blocked when i contact to say I don't mind you leaving but at least let's talk, you just agreed to renew the rent for 2 years that's was couple of months ago and now you leaving me with tons of items and all other implications. She ignored.

So I decided to go meet her outside work to ask what's going on? What part of I don't mind you leaving you don't understand ? Can at least sort things out and go. She suggested to go for cafe then few hours later she texted she is not going she changed her mind.

Next thing I told her ill tell your parents everything or come to see you at work. I just said ill never do it.

Next thing is I'm reported at my work and to the police. At this stage I knew for sure this person isn't the same person I lived with for almost a decade.

She looked she is not in a natural stable state of mind, she looked she was hypnotised.

I did find about 2 months ago deleted conversation she had with her evil girl friend, the one who commented to her after she told her she cheated on me, she told her it's ok I also cheated on my boyfriend it happens !. When I asked what was the conversation about and why you deleted it, she said it was some spiritual things.

I'm no saint and I suffered a lot and I know this wasn't working but I'm in disbelief I mean no way on earth I'd report her or do anything, I never touched her or been aggressive. But thus person is someone new someone I don't know I swear it wasn't whom I used to know.

I don't know if I regret wasting all these years reconcile or not I was more looking for answers it is all gone now.

12 comments posted: Wednesday, March 6th, 2024