Today

So this is year 5 past seperation.

I did date sporadically during this time.

A several month relationship that showed me I can have a relationship if I want one. This same relationship also showing me I need to choose better. Lol.

One old flame (from 30 years ago)

That did not work for all the same reasons of 30 years ago lol.

During this pandemic time I have not even tried to date.

I read a few articles this morning.

And I find myself thinking what really can I expect from a relationship?

A little conversation and a little sex.

And then I think what am I as a woman expected to provide?

And I am just going to leave the answer blank because there isn't enough room to list it all.

So now when I see a man and I just think hell no.

I already have too many jobs.

So that is where I am at today.

How about you?

[This message edited by Lavenderrose at 8:55 PM, February 11th (Thursday)]

1 comment posted: Saturday, January 30th, 2021

Everytime

As part of my healing I moved to a different town with the expectation that my ex would not venture into my environs.

Save for pick up and drop off of our teen.

I need a line in the sand so to speak.

As I have healed emotionally I have been able to have short conversations with the X during drop off and pick up.

And here is my mistake... I forget.

I forget that everytine I mention .....oh I went to this new walking trail, or (pre pandemic) i went to hear music at such and such. Suddenly these places are on his radar. Not because he hopes to see me or anything. Honestly I don't know why he does it. Or if he is even aware that he does this. For instance I went to a pub to hear Irish music on my birthday a year ago.

He now does their open mike regularly.

It is online but still WTF. And then he thanks me for telling him about the place

Because apparently there are no other places in the whole wide world.

Years ago I introduced him to a festival thinking it would be our family thing.

He took it over as His thing.

Has anyone else experienced this sort of thing?

5 comments posted: Saturday, January 30th, 2021