How do I proceed with this issue?
PAST - This is not my first rodeo - Dday was 8.5 years ago - WH had PA with COW. I had solid evidence re: the who and what, which was disclosed to him by me.
2nd Day was 6.5 years ago - discovered WH was still/again with the same COW. I had solid evidence which was not disclosed as to what and how I knew. This resulted in me filing, moving out for 1 expensive $10K night with all expenses involved and ended up with me going back home.
PRESENT - Both retired 2.5 years ago and 1.5 years ago sex was almost nonexistent. This began after diagnosis of 2 types of cancer (both can only be managed, not cured) and an auto-immune disease. Erectile Dysfunction/ED was also diagnosed somewhat prior - about 3 years ago. Prescription for a Viagra generic was prescribed.
1.5 years ago I told him that I missed our intimacy, felt like we were only living as room mates. WH blamed it on the meds for his cancer - OK - what could I say?
Since this past Jan, he acted like he was just not into me/no desire for me, kind and considerate, but no interest in being intimate - sex and just a loss of touch - holding hands, cuddling, slow dancing, etc. Occasional hugs but nothing else - still no interest in what he had legally available to him 24/7.
SPIDEY SENSES hit hard! I started counting his generic pills. The number was going down without any intimacy between us.
A week ago, he told the Dr the pills weren’t working - I wouldn’t know as there was NOTHING between us in 4 months. Dr said to up the amount taken.
The pill count on my end began daily and a few days after the Dr told him to up the amount, that amount of pills the Dr said to try was gone from his pill container!` Again, there was no interaction between us at that time.
So….. TMI, but doing laundry, I observed evidence of the use of these pills.
AGAIN, nothing at all happened with the two of us - very minimal in January and nothing since.
I need to confront him about this as I really believe that he is in at least EA, if not PA, again!
Dealing with a well loved, well known, well respected person who has a terrible physical situation. He is a handsome, fun, and entertaining, manipulative narcissist who has worked closely with investigators, and similar type people prior to retirement.
I need to have a discussion and present my ’theory’ and request the truth, a resolution without any concrete data other than the lack of intimacy, pill count, and laundry observation. I have no other data. For the past several weeks, the pills are counted daily and there is some correlation when he travels to another location, past the old workplace and COW, to get to a location where he provides consultation to young adults.
I have no other reason to justify the pill decrease and lack of interest in me than he is getting his sex elsewhere. Is there any other reasoning behind this? Otherwise, we get along well, like ROOM MATES. I must add that I am in very good shape, not at all over weight and have been told I am a beautiful woman (for my age) so he has what I and many others consider the "perfect wife."
This situation hit me hard this past week when a close male friend, who knows the situation, and I were catching up. He said there is no way that WH is not getting it somewhere else and why am I still M? Another SI peep asked me the same thing when she and I recently chatted.
I know that we are not supposed to tell the WS how we obtained info and what we really know. I feel the only way to make my point is to give solid evidence so that he knows I know.
How do I proceed with this? What and how much into, comments, facts, etc are needed to be stated to him? Many will say that nothing needs to be given by me as a reason or fact, but I know him well, and I need some type of solid reason for my thinking. At the first Dday, I told him i knew he was cheating on me and he immediately confessed without any evidence provided from me.
I have alot of guilt, concern, worry about him and his physical condition in the future. As a caretaker by nature, it is against my grain, my existence to walk away from someone I loved with the needs that he currently has and will continue to have worsening in older age.
We make a great team without sex but I am really feeling empty and un-wanted, physically unloved,
Again, he continue to blame this on the chemo meds he is taking but obviously, something is working correctly without me.
I am too old for this crap, not sleeping at night, and know that the confrontation needs to be carefully handled to be in my best interest.
What say ye?
18 comments posted: Monday, April 29th, 2024
Looking for someone to Snoop in the NE
Hello - I am looking for someone to make a phone call and hear the pick up and voice mail on the other end.
If someone can help me, please PM me.
Thanks!
1 comment posted: Friday, March 24th, 2023
Snooping List and Services Offered?
Hi There - Are these 2 lists still active? I sent a PM to several on these lists and no-one has responded. I understand that no response may mean the person is not on SI any longer or not offering help. I have a simple request but am not sure where to go for help with it.
Thanks!
1 comment posted: Friday, March 24th, 2023
Apple AirTags
Does anyone have experience using the Apple AirTag? Any comments, thoughts, recommendations would be appreciated to learn how to use this item with the most benefit of determining whether I am heading to another D-Day.
1 comment posted: Monday, March 14th, 2022
Android Users, app help
For those who use Android and understand what alot of the apps are used for, I could use some education and explanation of them as I am not sure what I am seeing.
2 comments posted: Tuesday, July 28th, 2020
qrcode barcode reader scanner app for hidden texting
Does anyone know details about this app?
This shows the option to use the scanner for email, call, share - much more than just a scanning a barcode. The icon looks like the figure to scan, not the vertical lines of a barcode.
The top of the open panel shows scan at top, and then looks like a contact with the name of the person, address, phone number, and email address. The scan is at the bottom of the panel.
4 comments posted: Tuesday, June 16th, 2020
WebWatcher on Android
Anyone put WW on an Android successfully?
4 comments posted: Monday, January 27th, 2020
Detailed Interpretations of TimeLine History
Does anyone know of a book or link that gives very detailed explanations/interpretations on how to read the Google TimeLine Location History lines, raw data, etc from My Activity?
0 comment posted: Sunday, September 15th, 2019
Freaking out over FB/Messenger connection
I hope someone has the answer for me as this is mind blowing to me-
I saw that WH could access my Messenger not sure if he did or knew he could. I was in his Google My Activity that is accessed under his email and his password and looking at the websites, searches etc that he has done on his phone. I saw he had clicked on FB and it really surprised me as he claims he does not have an account. When I clicked on the link, it opened up into FB Watch - I had never heard of it before - it is apparently to stream videos, movies, etc but it had a backwards arrow and when I clicked that, it took me right into my FB page where of course Messenger is at the top.Clicking on that, it pulled up MY messages. HE was able to see all my FB messages in there IF he read it. He had only been on 2x within a couple of days. Whenever I am on Messenger, I always log out and also delete the history from my computer so if he had been in my computer, he would not have been able to jump into my FB page.
Again, this was under HIS email, HIS password and he could access MY FB page and Messenger! Does anyone know how this can happen and how I can prevent WH from accessing my messenger again.
He claims to not have a FB account. There is a very generic one under his name with partial info filled in - occupation, etc but the info is silly and obviously not real. This person has no picture showing and only 1 friend who is not able to be viewed. (who has only 1 friend?) Any other way to find out if in fact he does have a FB account?
Any help in figuring this out would be GREATLY appreciated!
5 comments posted: Friday, August 23rd, 2019
Qr and Barcode Scanner App
Can anyone explain this app in detail to me?
2 comments posted: Friday, March 1st, 2019
Life360
Does anyone know details about this app?
I have some specific questions if you do.
1 comment posted: Friday, January 18th, 2019
Life360 Alerts
Does Life360 app have the same alert sound on ALL phones, specifically iPhone and android based phones? WH just began receiving the same sound on his Android as I have on my iphone for our daughters 360Life alerts - it is not for our daughter or I.
Just wondering - His sound is new and is not a text or voicemail sound based on the phone records. Wondering.............
1 comment posted: Sunday, September 9th, 2018
MyActivity on Google tutorial needed
If anyone knows how to use MyActivity on Google with the gmail and password, can you please contact me? I have some questions on the hows and whys of how it works and what the settings need to be.
4 comments posted: Friday, August 17th, 2018
Anyone have an account to persopo.com?
If anyone has an account to this and you are willing to run 2 reports for me, please PM me - THANK YOU!
1 comment posted: Friday, May 25th, 2018
Checking home router
After reading on SI, it sounds like you can check your home router for information. If this is correct, how is this done?
5 comments posted: Wednesday, January 24th, 2018
Var evidence only
So, I know that VAR evidence is really for the BS to know what is going on, BUT, when VAR evidence is the only substantial evidence, how does it get used, specifically for OBS benefit, without incriminating yourself in states that you need 1 party's consent?
2 comments posted: Tuesday, January 9th, 2018
How to set up dummy Google account
Can someone tell me how to set up a dummy Google account using a dummy gmail address? This dummy Google account can not be linked with the my active account and current associated gmail addresses in use.
7 comments posted: Monday, December 11th, 2017
Tricky question on var recording
I have a VAR recording that needs to be professionally cleaned up - background noice eliminated and voice volume increased. Since VAR recordings are not legal, or at least can't be used as legal evidence due to recording without person's knowledge and consent in most states, how do I find someone and who who does this service without getting myself in trouble for illegally taping? Who is the person or what is the title of someone who does this type of work?
The app Audacity has been recommended but I need a professional to do this. Any thoughts on how to proceed with this project?
Thanks!
1 comment posted: Thursday, September 14th, 2017
Other options to clean up recordings besides Audacity?
Can anyone make a recommendation for other options besides Audacity to clean up a recording. Supposedly on a MAC, it is not an option since it is not offered on Mac's list of Apps.
5 comments posted: Thursday, July 6th, 2017
Is gps tracker on my car?
Does anyone know how to determine whether WH has a tracker on my car? I have one on his and know good locations to place them but my car is my office on wheels and trying to find a hidden tracker could take alot of time.
1 comment posted: Wednesday, June 7th, 2017
Reco for home simple home security monitor camera
Any recommendations for a simple, ,more inexpensive security camera for the home that would be easily installed, easily hidden and easy to use, remote viewing available on on iPhone?
0 comment posted: Tuesday, May 30th, 2017
Fitbit as a Tracker
Can someone please tell me how to use a fitbit as a tracking device or give other options to use instead of a standard GPS tracker other than apps on a phone?
Thanks
0 comment posted: Friday, March 10th, 2017
Spydialer Results Unavailable
What does this mean when looking up a number on spy dialer? Numerous calls made to H with the first 6 digits the same, all show as unavailable and the option for location all show the same address. Looking up the address does not give me a name of a business, person, nothing.
How can I find out who these numbers are and what the common address is for the numbers?
7 comments posted: Tuesday, January 10th, 2017
Detailed info for Android find my location setting
Not being tech savy, I need help to set up the GPS Tracking, tracking history, find my location, etc. to be activated on WH Android. Any other detailed info to set up tracking of any kind would be helpful.
6 comments posted: Wednesday, July 20th, 2016
Text recovery from dead phone
Is there any way to recover texts from a totally dead phone? Even with a new battery, it is an older phone, there is no ability to charge it to turn it on.
I am Totally technology challenged but there has to be some way to recover old texts or at least an option to try.
3 comments posted: Monday, July 18th, 2016
Pa. Person to make phone call - Please
Can someone from Pa. make a phone call for me to check out of office message?
Please PM me if you can.
0 comment posted: Monday, July 11th, 2016
000-000-0000 Texts
From what I have read, this is a blocked number but I see some texts sent to and from this 000-000-0000 number. What does it mean - are these texts actually being sent to someone and if so, how can I find out what/whose number this is?
5 comments posted: Tuesday, June 14th, 2016
Accessing ICloud
To access anything that was in pictures/vidoes on the iPhone, did iCloud back up need to be in place prior to or can iCloud still search on the iPhone if deleted prior to iCloud set up?
How is iCloud accessed to locate necessary info?
0 comment posted: Tuesday, June 7th, 2016
iPhone 5S Free Dr Fone
I am having a hard time finding the exact link to download the free version of Dr Fone on the iPhone 5S - anything I find is a charge. All I need to do is recover videos, nothing else.
Thanks
0 comment posted: Monday, June 6th, 2016
Sorting through Dr Fone Downloads
After downloading the free version of Dr Fone, the info of requested files is listed but how do I know what the various categories mean and how do I locate my info? I checked 2 categories - videos and auditory but have gotten nothing other than error messages saying the file is corrupt or the file it too large to download.
2 comments posted: Sunday, May 22nd, 2016
Sorting through Dr Fone Downloads
After downloading the free version of Dr Fone, the info of requested files is listed but how do I know what the various categories mean and how do I locate my info? I checked 2 categories - videos and auditory but have gotten nothing other than error messages saying the file is corrupt or the file it too large to download.
0 comment posted: Sunday, May 22nd, 2016
Best Option to Check for out of Town V-Mail
What would you recommend on how to check the voicemail to determine if someone has an out of town/out of office message on? The number is with a company that can and will trace "strange" or blocked numbers.
1 comment posted: Tuesday, April 19th, 2016
Whatsapp
I think this is the name of the texting app that doesn't show up on the phone bill.
How do I know if this has been activated by my WH? It appears that he supposedly set an account up, if I am thinking correctly. He showed me a text that he got and asked if I ever got one of these - words that meant nothing with whatsapp within the text.
Can someone clarify if I am thinking this is what he did?
7 comments posted: Friday, March 18th, 2016
Var in Car options
Can anyone recommend a place to put the VAR in the CAR other than under the seat? Looking for more of a hideaway that can still record but not be as easily seen if someone happened to go under the seats.
6 comments posted: Wednesday, March 9th, 2016
Email info from home WiFi
Somewhere on SI, I read that if the WS has a computer logged onto the home WiFi as I do on a separate computer, I can set it up so that I can see what he is emailing.
Can anyone verify this and if so, how do I set this up? A key logger is not an option on his work computer as he is in computer/physical security.
Suggestions?
1 comment posted: Thursday, March 3rd, 2016
Keylogger substitute
Any suggestions for the same concept as a keylogger but not on the computer? WH has a work/government laptop so nothing can go on it without being detected. I believe emails with his co-worker is now a means of communication instead of texting but need evidence.
0 comment posted: Sunday, February 28th, 2016
Best way to filter Var extraneous noise
How do I adjust to filter out, make more clear, or increase loudness off of a SONY ICD-UX533.I am having a hard time figuring it out by reading the directions and am afraid to lose the recording. THANKS
2 comments posted: Tuesday, February 23rd, 2016
Dr Fone
Does Dr Fone work on the same number with different phones or only 1 phone? Phone will deleted evidence texts died as per the phone carrier, could not start it back up. WH got new phone with same number after DD. Any chance to retrieve deleted texts off dead phone?
4 comments posted: Thursday, February 18th, 2016
Hangouts
Does anyone know if this is an app to be concerned about for texting that does not show up on the Verizon bill? WH has this on his phone but I don't know how to check to see if he is using it, texting, deleting, etc. Anyone know?
6 comments posted: Monday, February 8th, 2016
Setting up new email account for tracking
Hi - My WH does not have a gmail account on his phone and I want to set him up with one in order to track him via his cell. How do I do this and can it be done without him knowing that an email account was set up. I am not very tech savvy and get nervous about messing up.
0 comment posted: Wednesday, February 3rd, 2016
