D-Day #1 12/8/16 (ILYBINILWY), D-Day #2 12/17/16 (admitted to affair) Divorced: 10/24/17 Married 20 years, together 24, 1 young adult son

Help! How to turn down a date

Hi SI folks. It’s been awhile since I posted. I’ve been divorced for almost 5 years from my cheater and I’ve had no interest at all in dating. But I’ve been out in the world, living my best life and making tons of new friends.

The problem is, after a 25 year relationship, I have zero idea of how to deal with unwanted attention. It was convenient when I was married to say "sorry. Married." But now I’ve been asked out by a couple guys who share a hobby sport with me and it’s felt absolutely nerve-wracking to figure out how to decline without causing major issues in having to see these men again. I mean, ideally, I’d love for them to not ask!

So given that I want to continue to be my usual friendly self (trust me that I talk to the ladies in the sport the same as the men) and not make things totally awful awful me awkward, how to I deal with this. I definitely do not want to quit my team.

The reason I am posting today is that the latest guy has a girlfriend! Who I know and like and also is a member of our league. I don’t believe they have broken up, but he has hinted heavily he wants to break up. But y’all know the deal… a cheater will say almost anything to try to seem like a victim of a the "crazy" girlfriend/wife. He also has told me she is jealous of me. I did not need to hear that!

Just for reference to what a social moron I am, I accidentally ended up on a date a few years ago with an 80+ guy because he told me he didn’t want to go to some function alone and wanted a friend to come. And then he made the moves on me.

Anyway, what the fuck do I do? I really need to figure out this stuff better. Who knew I’d be dealing with high school garbage in my early 50s?

8 comments posted: Friday, June 3rd, 2022