BS 34 STBXH 37 LTA DDAY DEC 2018 M 14 YEARS

Kids + new gf

Hi guys! It's been quite a while since I have been here while in the depths of Dday/divorce. ExH had an 18 month affair, and I kicked him out shortly after Dday. Our divorce was final in Oct 2019.

I have come a LONG way emotionally in that time. I am getting to "meh" but have not attained it yet.

Ex has brought a small parade of women into our kid's lives. He got serious (too quickly IMO) with the last one, had her practically living there, and placing her in a stepmom role. She was very pushy and even texted me how her and I needed to be a parenting unit after 6 months into their relationship. My kids loved her. Then they broke up. My 9yo told me because the gf "had other boyfriends." My kid also told me a whole bunch of other inappropriate things that a 9yo should bot be privy to.

Anyway, I wasn't the most gracious in handling that relationship. The girl is nice enough, and I believe treats my kids well and loves them.

My kid tells me the other day that daddy is dating gf again 3 months after their break up. I really just need advice to tamp down all my ucky feelings about this. I dont want to feel jealous (of her in a "mom" role), I dont want thoughts of how she is a decade younger or prettier to cross my mind, I dont want to think about my ex with her. I just dont want to feel anything about it. I would like to be able to be polite and just totally neutral. My kids tell me a lot about their time with their dad when they come back to my house. I dont want to invalidate their feelings or ask them to stop talking about the gf.

Please tell me how to just stop caring about any of this? If she treats my kids well, that should be my only concern!

7 comments posted: Sunday, February 28th, 2021