I was here a few years ago because my wife cheated I need advice

I posted a few years ago and you guys helped me and I really appreciate it! I’m not sure if this is the right forum to post this but here goes! Any advice would be appreciated

I’m 29m spouse is 30f no kids
A little back story I’ve been married 6 years been together 8 on year 2 into marriage my wife cheated on me a whole year without me noticing. It broke me down I didn’t know if I would come out okay but with therapy both of us and forgiveness I eventually managed to forgive her. We moved several times for her job which affected my work and my income and moving was good because the ap parter was a coworker and we got a chance to start fresh Two years ago go by fast forward A few months ago she complained that I didn’t do things I use to do for example run bubble baths buy her flowers often things like that ( we go official dates once a week at least normally more) I acknowledge that and I started buying more flowers. Last night she wanted me to go to her job to pick up something I said I’m not going because being there makes me feel uncomfortable and gives me anxiety and she’s like why I’m like I don’t know she proceeds to say that when I ask her to explain how she feels she try’s her best and I agree. And I’m telling her that me being at her job give me anxiety and makes me feel uncomfortable and she’s like why and I repeatedly say that I don’t know why I can’t put it in words but I’m entitled to my feelings she keeps asking and i get frustrated but don’t yell. Or curse and she calls me AH and says instead of leaving Friday she’s leaving now it’s about 5pm ( the drive is 11hours and she worked today) I helped. Her move her stuff to her car ( this is important because. Our house is basically empty because we moved almost everything a few weeks prior because we’re moving back home and I would follow when I get a transfer for my job. She grabs the last suitcase and throws her ring on the ground . I pick it go to her car like what’s up she says shes leaving me because I’m not "infatuated"with her the same and I don’t love her the same because I would never let her go in the past. I told her I love her the same and this is no reason to leave the marriage but I can’t control you. She said that. I don’t love her the same because I helped her move her stuff after she said she was leaving that. Was a big f-u and that’s the worst I ever hurt her feelings. I told her I thought she was just going to a hotel because it’s insane to drive 11hours after just working in. She’s been ignoring my calls and texts I have no idea where she is

On a side note I believe. I Don’t like going to her place of work because the affair it was traumatic for me . I always thought her coworkers were laughing at me because of the affair it’s a different location but same company. I realized this now after talking to a friend who’s a therapist

When she left she said I can do with the apartment what I want two months left on the lease essentially my pay has significantly decreased due to moving jobs so she could chase her career she got promoted just from a financial standpoint she’s kind of leaving me while I’m at my lowest and it doesn’t sit well. I actually wanted to work it out because I don’t think her response is worth divorcing for it seems extreme It seems her point is she said she was driving back home and I loaded her stuff so that’s saying I don’t care about her. I honestly think she’s trying to build a fake case but I don’t think she’s cheating

4 comments posted: Thursday, May 19th, 2022