Fake it till you make it
Today I sign my divorce settlement agreement online. I know it's going to be a rough day. And in one month it will be our wedding anniversary. 17 years. Hooray!
So I decided with state parks reopening to book myself a nice long weekend hiking trip by myself for the anniversary weekend. I'll spend two days out in nature, getting exercise and sunlight. Then hopefully be able to enjoy great food and maybe a massage at the spa.
Then the week following I move into my own very first solo adult apartment. Its a great place with awesome access to downtown and the lake and so many great parks. And I won't have to worry about running into them in the neighborhood anymore walking my dog, or grocery shopping.
I also started OLD. I have matched with many women, and actually even gotten into real conversations with a couple of them. It's super weird to start a relationship with a non-narc and not being love bombed and overwhelmed by too-soon closeness.
I'm not happy, and none of it really feels good, but I'm doing it anyway. I can look and say objectively it's much better. I'm holding on to that for now.
8 comments posted: Wednesday, May 27th, 2020
