Xww wants to meet the fiancee.

Kind of a vent, and kind of seeking advice.

To cut a fourteen year saga into easily digestible pieces, my XWW (45) cheated on me (46) back in 2006 after three years of marriage. After me trying to stitch it back together, and her... Well, not. We divorced in 2007. She kept using me an emotional support when her AP kept cheating on her and didn't leave his wife.

The last time I spoke to her, I told her that I would prefer to never see or talk to her again. She thought I was joking. I was not.

I left my hometown in 2008 and moved three-thousand plus miles away. I eventually cut all ties with people from home because even my supposed friends kept giving her my email address. In 2009, I even changed my name. Pretty drastic, I know, but it seemed sensible at time. I purged everything related to the A out of my life. I sold the family home that was in my name, I even sold a particularly valuable family heirloom with a lot of history and emotional attachment.

In 2012 I met the wonderful woman who is my fiancee (35) now. Looking back on my marriage, my fiancee blows my XWW out of the water. She actually cares for me, and goes out of her way to show it.

Anyways, my XWW somehow contacted my fiancee a month ago. I had not told her of my first marriage because I had not thought about my XWW in years.

I thought that we had negotiated the waters regarding the existence of a prior marriage. Apparently, not. Because my fiancee has arranged for us to meet my XWW. When the pandemic dies down a bit, a tentative date in June. XWW wants to meet in person, not over video.

My fiancee thinks that I haven't fully dealt with my divorce. She thinks that this will give me some form of closure.

Maybe she's right, but the XWW I remember was a horrid, and manipulative person. If I can help it, I don't want me, or anyone I love to go with a thousand miles of her.

I would prefer to try and avoid this meeting entirely and find myself actually hoping that this pandemic goes on longer. I haven't seen the XWW since 2008, and have no desire to change that.

49 comments posted: Saturday, May 2nd, 2020