WH First night out since dday

Last night was my WH first proper night out to bars since dday in January 2020.
He wasn’t going to go then last minute decided he was. I put on a brave face, said have a good night. He was trying to decide where to park before he left. I text him an hour later asking if he managed to get parked. It just that contact when out would help with reassurance, I didn’t hear anything back at all. He got home about 4 hours later.

I just wanted a bit of reassurance back from him without telling him to do it. The trust just isn’t there, I’m not sure it will ever be.

18 comments posted: Saturday, December 30th, 2023

Autism and not being able to express feelings

WH has suspected autism (our children have been diagnosed), I’m really struggling at the moment and need reassurance. We are 2.5 years post dDay. We have been plodding along, he did ic at the beginning and read books, there was some reassurance. He made me a book about his feelings and reasons he loves me.

Last night I got very upset at his lack of reassurance and emotional support. I was asking questions, needing to hear certain things to help and wasn’t getting anything back. It really knocked my confidence and self esteem. I shutdown completely. When he realised I was upset, he apologised and said he really struggles to express his emotions. He just kept repeating he loves me. I’m not sure if this is just an excuse. It feels like I’m hitting a brick wall

5 comments posted: Thursday, April 6th, 2023

I have this ‘feeling’ again

I have this awful feeling again, instinct maybe that WH is having an affair with his boss.

She called him last week and asked him to pick her up from dropping her car off for a service on his way to work, then he took her to pick it up again. This might not mean anything but there are a lot of people that work at the company but it’s always him she goes to. Then she ‘accidentally’ called him last night on a Sunday.

He talks about her a lot. I have met her and would say she is not his usual type but i know that doesn’t mean anything.

He hasn't been doing his fair share at home and seems to be rug sweeping whenever there are awkward conversations at home.

We have 3 children, the youngest is 18months, not sleeping well. I’m exhausted and not sleeping very well myself, my day starts between 2-4 most mornings. He usually comes to bed at 2am (plays games console until then) and wakes around 6.30am. I have spoken to him about this and nothing changes. He does try and take our little one who will just scream with him.

I’m at breaking point and have started to look into seperation ( I haven’t discussed this with him yet)

10 comments posted: Monday, April 3rd, 2023

Is it worth it?

We are 3 years from d day this week (prostitutes) and I’m struggling. Two nights ago I tried talking to him about it. He fell asleep mid conversation. I spoke to him again last night. His response was I don’t get it things have been going well. I explained how he isn’t doing enough, it’s going well for him because nothing has really changed, it’s swept under the carpet, my feelings don’t seem priority. I do all the cooking (I can’t remember the last time he cooked), he does his share of the washing and with the children) He doesn’t come to bed at the same time, he is on his phone a lot of the time, he doesn’t even acknowledge I’m in the room. If I talk to him, he doesn’t even look up. I said I’m not sure I want to be married anymore. This really upset him and he kept saying he loves me over and over. He said I’m sorry I’m rubbish.

It’s me trying to prop up the marriage, I’m tired of it. He said he thought he had been doing enough. Im not sure what reconciliation should even look like now

4 comments posted: Saturday, January 7th, 2023

Struggling after two and half years since dday

We decided to reconcile, things were going well.

I’m really struggling with anxiety and raised it this week, it’s coming up to the trickle of when I became suspicious. I texted him " I’m feeling really anxious about our relationship and us at the moment. It’s that time of year and feel we need to talk things through" no response so I raised it last night. His response threw me "I’m not sure what to say". I left it at that as I wasn’t sure how to respond.

Any advice?

11 comments posted: Friday, October 28th, 2022