always been the other man

hi. i'm sorry if this is the wrong forum. i don't know where to put this, so feel free to move or delete.

i'm 38 and physically disabled with athetoid cerebral palsy. it basically means that my motors are messed up. i have constant moving parts. not shaking, just moving. as a newborn, i didn't have enough blood in my body. my blood type is O-positive. my mom has the same blood type, but she had already lost a lot of blood giving birth. so my dad and his siblings had to go blood hunting. by the time they found someone, it was too late. i couldn't walk until i was 6. but my thinking is 100% fine. i had a very normal upbringing with of course, challenges. i was never a part of the disabled groups in school. i was always just another regular student.

i was using the yahoo chatrooms to meet women from all over the world up until yahoo messenger's demise. i've met plenty of women virtually, hiding my disability from them all. trading nudes was common, too. i had 5 long term sexting relationships with married women, and 3 with women with boyfriends. 3 of these relationships lasted for over a decade. as far as i know, none of the SOs knew or suspected anything as i would ask regularly. i knew it was very shitty of me, but i was getting off to it. looking back, i was a 100%, grade A piece of shit back then. i know it and own it.

about a year ago, i finally decided to stop hiding my disability and end this nonsense with taken women(in the middle of a godamn pandemic of all things, but it's a start, right?). despite my disability, i'm constantly being told that i'm a pretty decent looking man. and i never knew how many women just don't care about disabilities until now. so far, i've had sex with 3 women regularly and a few ONSs. obviously, i have some limitations because of my disability. but they understand and most of the time, they don't care. they don't say anything, but i can see it sometimes with the frustrated looks they give me. i asked all 3 regulars before we started if they were married/taken. all 3 told me that they weren't.

fast forward to about a week ago, i got suspicious of one because i overheard a phone call. so i went through her phone and found out she was married. i got pissed off and ended it with her. so naturally, i'm suspicious of the others now. i go through their phones, and low and behold...one of them is also married and the other is in a long term relationship. again, i ended it with the one with a boyfriend. the married one is in a open marriage, but why hide it? she said she told me, but i told her i clearly remember asking her if she was married, and she answered with a resounding no. i don't get it.

so even when i try avoiding them, i can't. unbelievable how many cheaters there are these days. jesus christ!

17 comments posted: Monday, March 15th, 2021