I guess the first 10 years of hell wasn't good enough. I stayed 10 more.
Drained, broken, & hurt....
My 20 year marriage is finally coming to an end. My STBX is a self centered narc that has never been able to see beyond himself to ever properly love or care for his wife or kids. Year after year of being disrespected, lied to, & cheated on; its finally over. He packed his things today (with my not so nice help) and just like that he's gone.
Part of me is relieved that this hellish relationship is finally over. The other part of me is devastated. I invested so much blood, sweat,and tears into holding onto this toxic connection for my kids and to know that all of that personal sacrifice was for absolutely nothing, is killing me inside.
I told him from day one that I had no interest in being a single mom, but here I am 20 years later with four kids under 15 with disabilities. I hate him for what he's done to me and more importantly what his selfishness has done to my children. Will this pain ever go away? Will I be able to be everything that my kids need? Will they be okay through all of this? My heart is broken and I can't stop crying. Even though I know that this had to end, why does it hurt so damn much???
6 comments posted: Saturday, February 5th, 2022
