I feel so done and alone...

I have been dealing with my husbands infidelity for a couple of years now. The fact that he did it again when given another chance made it worse.... We were trying to work it out but the way he carries himself is just so disrespectful.... We went to the mall and when he goes shopping its like a full blown shopping spree. He gets to Macys Cologne counter and starts buying all kinds of bottles. The girls at the counter flock of course... like whoses this dude plus I know they make commission... well I said that enough. One of the women got his phone number and texted him that the next time he was in to let her know... When I saw the text I flipped. He played it off... I get it she's working but he should not be carrying himself like that. His past infidelities don't help. Do you know how many men would love my number?

Flash forward to 2 days ago... my daughters really sick. I told him to take her to get a toy since she was stuck in the house. Again shopping spree, he doesn't know how to budget which drives me nuts. So my daughter comes home and he goes to work. Later on in the night she's talking about some lady who lost her brother. I was very confused. My husband comes home early and I start asking him questions... mind you the lady was the cashier. He than goes into this whole story about how he knew her whole family and they call her mom or her mom called on FaceTime! I am like wait what... she is working as a cashier answering a FaceTime call? How did you have enough time to go through all of this at the register... how did it get this deep. I am like did you get her number... I got upset Because obiovulsy I cannot trust him. I told him I was going to put the same energy out there that he puts out there. When I go to the store people try to talk to me all the time and I curb it, because I am married and have no interest. But to me it sounds like he has an interest. So next time Ill start entertaining it like you do! Well he threw his ring at me and told me we are done.... this time I cried, but not that much. I have not given in. Since we are done I am not cooking, cleaning, handling his businesses back office stuff or doing anything for him. I told him he takes no accountability for his actions and that he disrespects me all the time. Every time there's females doesn't matter if they are good looking or not he comes off as a flirt. I remember going to this one store and the girl kept eyeing him... it seemed like she was trying to figure out who I was. She looked amazed that I had a baby with me. He would always go in there to by shoes, but I was not always there with him... its sad... this is what life has become. We have not talked since yesterday, I am trying my hardest to stay strong but its hard. Normally I apologize and I know its a trauma bond that I am trying to break. Its sad because he has isolated me.I have no friends and do not talk to family anymore because he fought with them and it got pretty bad....

6 comments posted: Friday, March 15th, 2024

Bringing back intimacy and affection

How do you guys do It? My husband says I am not affectionate. Personally, I have a lot of triggers. He hid a lot of things from me and over the years the feeling of sadness and being alone even though in a relationship intensified. I felt like in the beginning I was very affectionate but after all the hurt and lies I have become very guarded. As much as I want this to work I do not know how to bring my guard down. Last night he said the devils working on me because I have signs of depression... which I have been working on. I have 2 little girls and I work from home. Sometimes I feel like the world is just on my shoulders. How do you start showing your affection? I am cooking, cleaning, working and taking care of kids. Mentally I am just tired. My heart hurts from years of lies.. I am trying to save my family. I still have triggers. My husband is emotional unavailable due to his life prior to being with me... He is a great father. Last night he told me he feels like he is just here to provide. But I provide too. I work and make decent money.

20 comments posted: Sunday, January 7th, 2024

New Year

My husband made a pact to work on our marriage. He now answers my calls, calls me through out the day and has been less angry about life in general. Yet, his past discretions have caused me to fall into a state of depression and I have aneixty attacks. How do you guys pull through to work on your relationship when you have built walls to protect your heart and are suffering from depression and anxiety. I am seeing a therapist, but I don't take the medication. I tried it made me loopy and I am not someone who likes to take any medication. I started working out again and I feel like that does help. But I am still stuck on the how do we work on this relationship, if I feel so guarded all the time?

4 comments posted: Thursday, January 26th, 2023

Seeking Women who are staying in their and dealing with the emotional and physical struggles of their husbands choices

Hi all, I joined this page in hopes of finding women who I can talk to who are staying in their marriage even after their husband cheated.... I find that as I write in the forums, I am being judge for staying and being told to leave. My husband, cheated more then once... They were not affairs more like "hood rats" or as others would know them as fast women in a fast life. These women did not know much about him besides his ex. They actually did not even know his name... I know sad right. Well I am trying to deal with the aftermath and emotional torture that comes with infidelity. I am trying to forgive but not forget. It is hard everyday. He came out of prison and basically acted single when he left the house. We now have 2 children. It really bothers me that everytime I had a child he cheated. I feel so overwhelmed with emotion. I do not have a lot of people to talk too. This past time I actually stood up to him. It was kind of like taking my power back, which felt good. I told him we were done and he could go. He left in his car, but. drove right back and asked for a second chance. I cried and gave it to him, which I probably should not have because honestly how do you trust again. he said this time if he does anything he will just pack and leave. I am not sure if he is telling the truth, because all he does is lie... you see I am not like the trash he is use to being with. They only cared about the $$$, meanwhile I actually care and love him. I feel like I do not know myself anymore... I started therapy and have been working hard to make sure that I am working on myself. I would love to speak to other women in my situation who trying to mend what has been broken. How do you get through you day? I have 2 little girls that I have to be strong for, but I feel like inside I am falling apart...

33 comments posted: Friday, November 4th, 2022

Destroyed...

Where do I begin... I fell in love.. hard. I thought we were so connected but he was not true. I waited years for my husband to come home. He did a significant amount of time, but I did not care. I just wanted to be with him. I had such high hopes..When he came home he cheated; I knew but tried so hard to act like I did not see the big red signs... I got pregnant with our daughter, I was still in my own little world. Hoping and praying he would come to his senses. I was contacted by a female on social media when I was 8 months pregnant. I blocked her but did ask him. He of course denied it. He then told me he cheated but not with her. I went into early labor due to all the stress. Our daughter was born sick. I spent hours/days in the NICU by my Childs side. He goes to work and is cheating with her. This women was stalking me online. Making fake profiles and sending such horrible messages. He claims he is doing nothing; well he was cheating with her. She was from his past and is very trashy. Sleeping with everyone. I was destroyed. I felt so betrayed and alone. He broke me.. I had a newborn and felt so alone.... Flash forward to 3 years later, I tried to make it work. We got pregnant again, he became distant again. I found him talking to some girl on his phone. Turns out he met her at a hotel and had sex with her. She claims she had a baby that died. The other claimed she was pregnant too. This time,I had my other daughter. She was only maybe 3 months old. I couldn't breathe. I felt my world crashing again. This time I told him we were over. I told him I could not be with a man who took me for granted. I have 2 girls to raise and I just cannot allow them to see their mother treated this way. he apologized asked for another chance and swears he will never do it again.

I feel like every time I get pregnant he finds me unattractive and cheats.. I have done so much for this man and love him so much. But how could he hurt me? I was 8 years faithfully for him to come home. I was all alone while he was incarcerated. I did not cheat on him so what gives him the right to cheat on me? How come he takes me for granted.... I do everything. He passed a comment that I do not get ready anymore... but I am running after 2 kids, taking care of a house, managing finances, cooking , cleaning. I'm not like the trash he finds to sleep with who just care about their looks and spread their legs.... I do not know how to deal with all these emotions. I feel so alone.... I feel like everything we built was worth nothing... his comments to me are always find another man he will cheat more. I told him my next relationship would be with a women. I do not understand his comments or how he could entertain another women. I do not even have a thought of another man... I am so heartbroken.

43 comments posted: Wednesday, November 2nd, 2022