Well, here I am.
Before I get into the story, just so excited a place like this exists. So thankful.
Just found out 2 days ago my wife of 26 years has a relationship with an old boyfriend from many states away. She found him on Facebook in February and they have been in touch ever since. Tens of thousands of texts (that's how I found out) and thousands of pictures. She was smart and deleted all of them so no idea what they said.
If that were it, I probably wouldn't be on here. In October we went to a wedding in the same state as the dude and she wanted to go early for a little time to herself. (3 days). Yea, they met up.
If that wasn't crushing enough, she is showing no remorse and is blaming me for everything.
We have 2 grown children, one at home in high school, who now need to go to therapy. They actually requested it. I think I may head there as well.
I have moved into the guest room and really haven't talked to her at all. Last night she fought with my daughter and I came out to stop them... bad idea. The wife was the nastiest I have ever seen her. Scared me a little.
So she comes home today and pretty much acts like everything is fine. So weird. I know she's hurting too, but to be honest I don't care anymore.
Just knowing that someone will read this story is enough for me. Writing it down has helped a lot. Maybe I'll start a journal.
Off for some beers. I deserve it and it's Friday night.
424 comments posted: Saturday, December 10th, 2022
Just getting started
Hi All,
I found out about my wife's affair on November 4th. My story and updates are on the Just Found Out forum here: https://www.survivinginfidelity.com/topics/659675/well-here-i-am/?ap=1
I guess I was hoping for some sign of R from her, but there is no remorse at all. She did ask me last night if I were interested in R and if she had to move out. I said I was, but neither she nor I are ready to even think about R. She actually said "I will not grovel".
So my only path at the moment is separation/divorce. I am in NC so we need to separate for 1 year before I can file for D. I think she is open to leave, but it needs to happen soon. And after the conversation last night, about her lack of remorse and that she will "not grovel", she needs to go as soon as possible.
I have one last consult with an attorney today, and then I will put one on retainer and have a letter sent to her that I am aware of the affair and she must leave the house.
About the affair:
I found out she has been texting and sending pictures to an ex boyfriend since February, who lives 10 hours away. 30,000+ texts and 1500+ pictures sent between them. We had a wedding to go to in the town where he lives and she wanted to go early for a few days "by herself". She still stays she never met with him, but c'mon, no one is that dumb. One of my attorney's said what we have what we need as far as proving "inclination" and "opportunity" when it comes to alimony (which I want to be 0)
She is showing no remorse at all. I have been practicing the 180/Grey Rock with her and if she brings up anything related to separation/divorce, I tell her that is why we have attorneys.
So I guess today I really start the journey. Not looking forward to it, but at least I know my destination.
19 comments posted: Monday, November 14th, 2022
