Wish I wasn't new here

My husband of less than 1 year (we've been together 6) has just told me he slept with a sex worker on his last business trip.

He assures me it was the first and will be the only time and that he feels terrible. He said he used protection but recieved unprotected oral and has just had sti tests done.

He's tried to justify it by saying that it was just a transaction for sex and no feeling was involved and he now feels awful about it because I'm the love of his life. I can't understand why he thinks what he's done isn't as bad as a drunken one night stand - he actually planned to do this, searched for a woman, bought condoms and even bought a new sim card to contact the escort agency (which he's said he's now thrown away) To me, it's even more of a betrayal than something that can be passed off as a drunken mistake.

Not only am I having to deal with the cheating but also this deceitful and sneaky organising of it, where he would have had many opportunities to back out. We had sex once he got back home and he didn't think to mention it before then. I feel disgusting.

My problem right now is that we've recently moved to another country where I don't speak the language and I'm not currently working so I have no money of my own. I can't just leave him. How the hell do I even start to navigate through this?

I don't think I want to leave him but I'm just not sure what to do right now. I want to believe that he won't do it again, as he's clearly remorseful, but he's going on another business trip on Wednesday and all I'm going to be thinking about is what he's getting up to.

What should I do?

11 comments posted: Tuesday, November 15th, 2022