Working through R and Need Advice
Let me preface this with my WS (35F) seems to desperately want R and, while I'm deeply hurt by her actions, I think that's what I want as well due to a number of factors.
DDay was almost 6 months ago and the first three months were truly awful and quite easily the worst period of my life.
It felt like we were making progress recently and had turned a corner a little bit over the last month.
After some more recent conversations, I learned that there was another instance of PA between the 2 instances that I knew about with the same AP (34F).
The first two instances happened outside our home but the new discovery actually happened at our home (although we've since moved).
Obviously, this discovery has hurt and has been a significant setback for us and has resurfaced a lot for me that I hoped we had moved past.
All that said, part of me wants to know some details (like did it happen in our bed) but I'm afraid that going down that path will do more damage than good.
As so many of us here unfortunately know, this isn't an easy decision/situation and one that I'm taking one day at a time but need some advice/insight on if knowing details was helpful or hurtful for the R and healing process?
The other piece I struggle with is that since we had started doing better, how much does this even change? Or how much should this discovery impact R?
I'm not looking for "leave her and start a new life" but my heads spinning a little bit here and I'm struggling to process.
8 comments posted: Tuesday, June 13th, 2023
Wife Had Same Sex Affair
DDAY was 12/31/22
Found out about 15minutes before midnight that my (33M) WS (34F) had a drunken sexual tryst with a mutual female friend who is also married but apparently has a different arrangement with her husband.
This is the second time this has happened (also drunk the other time) and we have talked about her sexuality and she's assured me and our couples counselor that isn't the case.
I'm on such a brutal roller coaster that I hate for everyone involved.
We've gone on a few dates since and I'm trying to reconcile but I feel like I'm faking everything and I can't get past it.
24 comments posted: Monday, January 23rd, 2023
