Random phone selfie panic

Hi!

D day Jan 25/Feb 2 2023. WP had with a married woman; EA1yr and PA one night and I believe it (wayward partner because he never wants to marry) We have 2 young kids.
It's been a whirl wind of a year. In which I've let things slide and rug sweep promptly. I have enabled some things but yet set the typical boundaries at the beginning. Marriage and IC at the beginning for both of us. We have had some great times and it's been hard work.
I guess I'm on here to get some support on when it's time to listen to my head instead of my heart.

AP birthday was recently and I knooooow it's bad but I looked at her Instagram and her header message was a song lyric from a song about cheating and how they miss it. She had taken up alot of my headspace at the beginning so I've really been good not looking at all until then..
My body wouldn't sleep that night so I went into my partner's phone.. which I have admittedly done a handful of times this past year, with really nothing bad until now.
His phone text picture album had two selfies from the same day, in our bathroom mirror; one naked and one winking pointing. I checked all the things and to no avail I cannot tell who he sent them to. I have the same phone (android type).. and the only way a picture ends up in the phone text message album is when you send that picture through your text messages..or I guess via switch it to that album manually but why as it was the first picture once you pulled up the albums so it wasn't hiding at all.
I wake him up and ask what the heck and why as I never got this pic?
He swears up and down that he sent those pictures to noone! He is feeling angry and upset because I woke him up, fair enough. I ask him if he is on websites of any sort? Swears no, nothing..
I ask him for call logs/phone records. He says no. Upset he grunts I need to have some privacy!
I told him to leave the bed he says no. I then sleep in the spare bedroom for four nights.
Honestly maybe I'm just so good at being corgeoul that he thinks I'm OK. But I don't think that this is OK.
I've mentioned it a couple of times now. I feel like he wants me to just be over it already.
I really wish he could just be transparent and let me look at the phone records to ease my mind. He acknowledged that the naked selfie would seem sketch if he were me. So why the push back? I'm feeling defeated.
"Clearly getting tired of the supervision, questioning, mood swings from high to low, spying and random demands" he stated.
I know it's not appropriate that I go through his phone. My heart is wanting ignorance is bliss while my brain is happy I found this. Is it a coincidence? Really who cares about what the AP has as their bio statement but what I do care is my WP not willing to make me feel safe in this relationship.
Am I being unreasonable asking for phone records?

6 comments posted: Tuesday, April 9th, 2024

Sketchy R

0 comment posted: Sunday, March 31st, 2024