just found out and very confused

it's been a rough week...after 14yrs i found out about my wife's affair last week, she told me that it had been going on for about 8-9 months. i am going through the roller coaster of emotions from loving her to hating her. i feel like she is the love of my life but i can't help but think of the messages that i saw. when she told me about it i started checking in on her laptop and since the phone was synced up to the laptop i could view the messages. i told her if she was serious about wanting to work things out she would have to block the other person. they never met in person only chatted online since they live 4hrs away but i saw explicit messages and i can't get the images of what was said out of my head. she blocked the person on her phone, sent me a screenshot of her blocking them, but when i got home i checked her messages and sure enough they were unblocked and texted within the hour of sending me the screenshot. we had our 1st session of couples' counseling and after i told her that she had to delete the contact info, clear deleted messages(there's a backup folder on iphones of deleted messages), and block them through our phone carrier. she was hesitant at 1st but did it because she said she didn't want to be alone in case our relationship doesn't last. we have another couple of days until our next session but i really don't know what to do about everything. the trust has been broken, i don't want to be cold towards her but it's also hard to be in the same house with her since it's just the 2 of us and she wants to talk about it. she claims that there was no emotional connection but since it was going on for so long and that she was hesitant to block him i feel like she might be emotionally checked out of the relationship.

20 comments posted: Friday, March 17th, 2023