BS - Me, 41
WS - Husband, 45
Married almost 5 years, together 11.
DDay - 7/11/23
Reconciling

Breathe, darling. This is just a chapter, not your whole story

Still Fresh

Everything is still so fresh. Dday was on the 11th. I've already made the choice that we are going to try and work it out because that is what my gut tells me to do. He is doing everything I ask of him and I have started reading Not Just Friends. I'm just... fearful that it will happen again. He has done the no contact and all that. The OW is no longer part of our lives. I know it will take time, and i'm still on the emotional rollercoaster of the whole thing. I am just.... arrggghh... I can't even put it into words. Just, every now and again, the thought pops up... what if what if what if....

4 comments posted: Monday, July 17th, 2023

Never expected it

We have been married almost 5 years, have a 4 year old, and dated for 5 before. I never thought this would happen. I found text messages between him and his best friend the other night going back almost a year. With them saying I love yous and miss yous. I confronted him about it and he said he was sorry. That it was only emotional. I thought I could deal with that. Last night he told me he lied and that they slept together 3 times. He broke down. I broke down. I don't know. I always said I would never tolerate this and cheating was always an end for me.

Now I'm here and I don't know.

I know things haven't been great. We haven't had sex in a year and not very much before then. I have issues stemming from abuse that he didn't know about. We also never comminicated. We were like roommates.

I know it is no excuse but.. I sorta get it which makes me feel even worse. This woman was his best friend so I was always inviting her along to things and our families hung out. Hell, we are supposed to go camping in 3 weeks together!!

He has deleted her and told her it was over. I just... I feel like I'm betraying myself by taking him back but that I'm not ready to let go... I don't know. I'm just so lost and broken.

He says he loves me and he wa to me. That he wants to fix us. I have a counselor booked for us in 3 weeks... I'm just so hurt.

Can this really get better?

12 comments posted: Friday, July 14th, 2023