Found out via the PI and at a fork in the road

Found out my husband is cheating, so this is my first post. Very upset. I hired a PI (private investigator) 3 months ago on suspicion. I now know where he has been, what he has been up to and seen some text messages. So there is now evidence. I have not yet confronted him as my PI has been good about talking me off the ledge so I can lawyer up or have options. The AP is married and they have developed a physical and a love affair over 6 months. I know who she is. I am going to confront him in a few weeks, as I am selecting my divorce lawyer.

We have been married 7 years. No children. In talking to my investigator, I am considering sending my WH (and/or the AP) an anonymous email stating that I know the specifics of what they are up to and that I have proof that I am sitting on. Maybe that would throw cold water on the A, knowing that they could be busted? I don’t know if that will make him confess, or make him stop the affair or bring them together. I want them to feel nervous. Text messages I saw showed me that they are scared of getting caught. They are taking some caution now because her husband asked a few questions last week, but he has no clue. I am in a bit of shock. I stayed calm because my PI has evidence and I want to be able to use it to my advantage. He was expensive.

I want WH to know that he has been spotted and that ‘someone’ knows. (not me, not yet) I want him to look over his shoulder every day. He cares what people think of him because we live in a small town. This coming to light would be damaging to him personally. Almost zero chance we can reconcile, and trying to get my mind around D. But in the meantime, I want to see his reaction to being somewhat caught. Has anyone ever tried this? I read other posts and it seems like many people just confront right away.

54 comments posted: Sunday, July 30th, 2023