Finally found out some of the truth

I recently found out that my partner had sex with another man that was working on our house while I was at work. We have been together for 13 years and have a 9 year old daughter together.

Back in September last year we were having work done on the house by a guy that I know and his brother. As the job progressed I did start to notice that my partner and the brother seemed to be getting on better than I would have liked, but I trusted her and thought nothing more of it.

The brother later offered to paint the outside of the house which we agreed to. I now realise why! He never finished the painting and later stopped turning up to finish the job. I assumed he had just let us down and decided to finish the work with a friend.

Fast forward to February this year and I noticed a message on my social media from November last year but as I rarely look at it I didn’t notice it until 3 months later. It was from the brothers wife, her husband and my partner had been messaging each other and she had found intimate pictures on his phone. My partner denied everything and said her email account had been hacked. His wife later sent me one of the pictures and I recognised that is was my partner but she still denied it. Again, I think I must have been blinded by love because for some reason I decided to let it go.

Fast forward to March and we are on holiday with family and friends. By now I am really suspicious as I’ve noticed she’s messaging all evening and she had been hiding her phone a lot lately and even taking it into the shower with her. So, on that evening we went out we all spent time in the hot tub. She asked me to take a picture of her which I did. Later that evening after she fell asleep I decided to check her phone. Within an hour of me taking the photo she had sent it to another guy and they had been messaging each other all evening. In the conversation she broached the subject of "getting naughty in the hot tub" and they both went on to say that nothing naughty happens in their relationship. The rest of the chat did seem to be just friendly to be fair. The other man is married.

After laying there with my heart beating out of my chest all night I confronted her the following morning. Had to be calm as we were on holiday with friends and family. She told me that they are just ‘friends’ and they have been messaging for years.

After all of this I managed to catch up with the brother and confronted him. I called his bluff and said I knew they had slept together but wanted to know how many times. He said only once so at that point I finally knew for sure that they had.

I just don’t know what to do. She says she loves me and will never hurt me again but as you can see, I’m really struggling to trust her and my head is all over the place.

Will she ever change? I feel like I don’t even know who she is anymore.

23 comments posted: Monday, September 25th, 2023