Obsessed stbxww won't leave me alone.

Hi everyone. First, I'd like to say that I am new here and English is not my first language, so I am sorry if I post this in the wrong place or if something doesn't make much sense. Second, I really am not ready to share all the details of my story, as it's been 3 weeks from D-Day and I still get angry and start shaking when thinking about it. So, to go straight into the subject, 3 weeks ago I found out my STBXWW of 24 years was cheating on me with a guy who started working on the same company she did. As far as I am concerned, the affair had been going on for months, but I have no concrete information nor would I want it. I've been working really hard recently(things are tough financially), so the two had a lot of time to spend together. I am not sure of all the details, but I was able to read some of their messages and, because of that, I know a few things: 1)They did some really "sexually intensive" things, which I really don't want to write, but it was bad(porn level bad). Me and my wife had been kind of kinky before, but never on that level(especially because my wife was not willing to go there). 2)They did their deeds in my home at least once, but probably more times. I read in one of their messages how AP "liked to pay her a visit" while I was working. Honestly, when I read this, I just threw her phone to the ground with such a strength that it broke down. Because of this I couldn't(nor wanted) to keep reading their messages. The same day I learned about the affair, I confronted her. I got all the sobbing, begging and crying that, for what I've seen in this forum and other forums out there, are common in this kind of situation. I honestly couldn't care less about it. Infidelity is the highest and most precious boundary I have and I AM NOT WILLING TO BREAK IT. We'll divorce, that's a given, even if it'll screw me up financially. I have 0 interest in giving her a chance to reconcile. I want to finish the process as fast as I can and never look at her face again. I know I am pretty old(I'll be 54 this April), but I still want to, in the future, find a faithful partner I can spend my life with. The kids are adults(20 and 18), so I don't have to deal with her for any reason at all. The problem is that she doesn't stop bothering me. I have blocked the numbers of all of her friends, but she always finds someone from whom she can borrow a phone to call me. She literally came to my brother's house(where I am staying while I don't find a place for myself) and begged on her knees in the front door for forgiveness(which was pretty humiliating for both of us). She claims that she is sorry, that I am a way better man than her AP, that she loves me more than her own life, and other things, though, in my view, if that was true, she wouldn't have cheated in first place. My sons are on my side and are very angry at their mom, though they are worried because she has been getting drunk, which she never did before. Regardless, how do you deal with this situation? How can you avoid the constant "persecution" from a WS? How can you make them leave you alone?

13 comments posted: Tuesday, February 6th, 2024