Suggestions on how to confront WW and ask for divorce?

I've already forgiven her and she's promised it'd never happen again, but here we are again. She doesn't know that I know about the one she's in now. It's tearing me apart and I fear the only option at this point is divorce. We have been married for 13 years and have two pre-teen children.
Thoughts/ suggestions on how I have this conversation with her? (I know what you're doing/I want a divorce)
I want to minimize the anger as I don't want it to escalate into a lawyer vs lawyer ordeal that'll last until every penny is spent.

I was thinking of something like "you know I love you and I want you to be happy, but I can't / don't want to compete with AP. I feel like time apart with help you decide what you want / get you past this phase. We can try again in a year or so when you're ready to settle down. Here's what you're entitled to (large sum of money) - enough to get you into a place and get you started until you can settle down. I really see us back together again at some point, but you have to get through this first".

I'm thinking I could take advantage of the delusion she's in right now to soften the idea of divorce? Together with the "possiblity" of getting back together again at some point?

Thoughts? Suggestions? Thank you in advance! This is the best group I've seen and even though I hate having to be here this place is still an oasis.

14 comments posted: Friday, May 3rd, 2024