Found out Fiance cheated on me a few weeks before our wedding.

I found out my Fiance had cheated on me a few weeks before our wedding. We've been together for 10 years and engaged for 1 year. I found out because a girl he had a one night stand with found out he had a long term girlfriend and messaged me via facebook because she thought I should know. It was heartbreaking and he initially denied everything but she had a video of him that he had sent her and screenshots of their text messages at which point he couldn't deny it anymore.

He has since come clean with me and admitted to having a sex addiction. The cheating has been going on throughout our entire relationship. Both physical and emotional. Mostly one night stands but there were 3 different times he was having an affair that lasted 1-2 months. Sexting with girls via dating apps, watching porn, and cam girls.

I had no idea and and I'm obviously devastated the person I was going to spend the rest of my life with is not who I thought they were. If there were signs I wasn't looking for them. I would never do this to a person so it was never even on my radar that he could do this to me.

I'm now struggling with the decision if I should stay or go. He wants to reconcile and has started a 12 step program and gotten a sponser. He is going to a meeting every day and also doing indivdual counciling. He also arranged for a couples counslor if I want it. He's taken full responsibility and made me a list of every time he wasn't faithful.

I know it's good he has taken these steps but it makes the decision whether to stay or go more confusing for me. It would be so much easier if he was being a jerk about the whole thing and not owning up to his mistakes and making no changes. He is promising to work on his recovery every single day and that he still wants to spend the rest of my life with me. He's respecting the boundaries I've set and giving me space. I've called off the wedding and moved back in with my parents since we were living together.

Is there anyone that can relate and does anyone have any advice when you're facing the decision to stay or go?

19 comments posted: Saturday, April 13th, 2024