Got Discarded
Thanks for letting me in the site just want to share my story and hear what you all have to say
I will try to summarize as much as I can we met online and the first date was on valentine's and she showed up over 4 hours late and drunk and high. We had sex and she promised not to do that again and the next dates she showed up on time and we started dating and it came to light after an episode (drug induced) that she has bpd and schzrio I did my best to understand this but after a year of us together a few days after valentines she reveals she had a fuck buddy she saw almost every time after she saw me and according to her the reason she kept going was he just fucked her rough how she liked it lol typing this now I am just disappointed in myself anyway took some months to patch things up and then she went drinking with a guy friend and fucked him.
There was a constant repeating motif of her coming across guy friends who they had lost contact with and with a little alcohol sex happens and during this time I can never reach her or I get a call of someone crying that they don't know where they are.
I continued to do my best I was not perfect because I started to remember the names of these guys and some of the locations became no go zones for me, I feel like I started accruing insecurities at a rapid pace and today I have a Santa list of things I will never ever compromise on.
Her job was a masseuse and I came to learn that for a few coins well let me just leave it at that. She has a child whom I grew attached to and tried to do the dad role because the boy asked me to be his dad at this time it had become a long distance relationship (not states but countries and ocean) but I was working to get her a passport so that she can visit and stuff, calling me an idiot is warranted at this point but I really wanted this relationship to work.
In March, when I was watching the old Jesus movie one of her old guy friends who lives in her home town (a place she said that I ever have to worry about when it comes to cheating) started chatting with her and they had sex. I tried reaching her the whole weekend and she ignores my call only to send me a message that said sorry or please let me go. I got her on the phone and she admitted to cheating on me after going to a funeral and she made sure to inform me it was raw and I was not a thought in her mind and she regrets nothing. They had also been hanging out without me knowing most likely for weeks.
Just this past week, she said she is picking him and she is in love and she was never in love with me and even sent me voice notes of what I need to change.
Is there something wrong with me? Why do I miss her? I honestly feel blindsided and I feel like I have failed. I am sorry if this does not make sense and I am just writing the highlights or lowlights to me but yeah let me know your thoughts
14 comments posted: Thursday, April 25th, 2024
