Will sex itself ever stop being a huge trigger?

Sex with my wife itself is a huge trigger for me. I'm absolutely disgusted by the act of inserting myself into her now (sorry to be so graphic), though I have to hide it, and all I can think about is how she cheated on me, and how someone else was doing this, during the entire act. I can't think about anything else.

Has anyone had this experience, and has anyone not been able to make it go away, even after years? Has it gone away for anyone? I unfortunately have OCD in terms of ruminating negative or anxious thoughts, as it is.

19 comments posted: Friday, May 24th, 2024

Anyone willing to talk to me on a voice app? I really need some support.

My wife has been having an affair with her boss for eight months, and I’m unable to confront her because it would end our decade-plus marriage. She has no idea that I know. Our relationship has improved significantly over the last eight months, since I found out and have tried to do everything I can to reverse course, and she engages in the affair during business trips several times per year. She used to be heavily involved in the emotional aspect of the affair, avoiding me and spending countless hours on texts and calls, and she was being very cruel towards me. But that has changed; she is back to loving me again and no longer spends time away from me.

We had a perfect marriage until I became depressed two years ago and basically stopped eating because I decided I wanted to lose weight. This led to a loss of libido and pretty severe depression, both of which I thought were intractable until I started eating again due to the stress of everything going on. During her last business trip, something happened that destroyed me completely, and I just need someone with experience to talk to.

We can't divorce because I love her and also because we have mutually built an entire life together. But it's so hurtful being a prisoner without being able to acknowledge what has happened and what is happening, without ending everything. If there’s anyone out there who could talk to me anonymously on a voice app, I’d be so grateful.

19 comments posted: Wednesday, May 15th, 2024